From: Tyagi@cup.portal.com (Tyagi Mordred Nagasiva)
Subject: Re: Staying out of the Abyss
Date: Tue, 10 May 94 16:46:27 PDT

Because Colin asked...  :>
____________________________________________________________

_Liber Nigris: The Story of 'Frater Nigris' and 'I am I'_

By Frater Nigris (Who would know better???)

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
The word of Sin is Restriction.


What follows is an overview of the development and meaning of my 
use of the name 'Frater Nigris' and the call 'I am I!' in my 
correspondence and its meaning in occult literature as I came to 
know it.   In this way it is both a diary and an analytical paper 
surrounding certain key concepts in Western occultism and 
Crowleyanity in particular.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The color black has been maligned throughout the history of magick,
probably due to its primordial and cthonic associations with the 
night and caves.  In the Hindu tradition it is sometimes said that 
the name of the Great Goddess of Destruction, Kali, means 'Black One', 
and this may be connected in some way to that awful Void of space 
which consumes and destroys All in Her entropic hunger.

When it comes to the Master Therion, his writings do not, on the 
surface, treat blackness much better, and there is some speculation 
that this is either due to his rather conservative, British upbringing, 
or to the interesting possibility that he intentionally characterized 
the path of his denigration in order to lay a course for those who 
would follow in his wake yet rebel against him.

My initial exposure to Crowley's use of the term 'black' came from 
_Book Four_ and _Liber Aleph_.  He associates the term with both a type
of magic and with a kind of person (the 'Black Brother' or, in Latin, 
'frater nigris').

Regarding the first, black magic, he describes it as that type that does 
not have as its goal the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian 
Angel (HGA), which he considered to be important to the completion of the 
Great Work.  Some quotes from _Book Four_ shall illustrate this quite well
(* - italics; _ - bold; both Crowley's):

"The Heiroglyph shewn in the Seventh Key of the Tarot (described in
the 12th Aethyr, Liber 418, *The Equinox* I, V) is the Charioteer of
OUR LADY BABALON, whose Cup or Graal he bears.

"Now this is an important formula.  It is the First of the Formulae,
in a sense, for it is the formula of Renunciation....
It is also the Last!

"This Cup is said to be full of the Blood of the Saints; that is, every
'saint' or magician must give the last drop of his life's blood to that
cup.  It is the original price paid for magick power.  And if by magick
power we mean true power, the assimilation of all force with the
Ultimate Light, the true Bridal of the Rosy Cross, then is that blood
the offering of Virginity, the sole sacrifice well-pleasing to the Master,
the sacrifice whose only reward is the pain of child-bearing unto him.

"But 'to sell one's soul to the devil', to renounce no matter what for
an equivalent in personal gain,... is black magic.  You are no longer a
noble giver of your all, but a mean huckster."

_Book Four_, Part III ('Magick in Theory and Practice') by Aleister Crowley, 
Edited by Symonds/Grant, Arkana Books, 1973; page 177.


"...the Single Supreme Ritual is the attainment of the Knowledge and 
Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel.  *It is the raising of the 
complete man in a vertical straight line.*

"_Any deviation from this line tends to become black magic.  Any other
operation is black magic."

Ibid, Part III, page 294.


"There are, of course, entirely black forms of magic.  To him who has not
given every drop of his blood for the cup of BABALON all magic power is
dangerous.  There are even more debased and evil forms, things in
themselves black.  Such is the use of spiritual force to material ends.
Christian Scientists, Mental Healers, Professional Diviners, Physics
and the like, are all *ipso facto* Black Magicians.

"They exchange gold for dross.  They sell their higher powers for gross
and temporary benefit."

Ibid, Part III, page 295.
___________________________

Now this can be seen in myriad ways.  It does seem true that the
sources upon whom Crowley drew were of a more simple mindset where
'black magic' was concerned.  Many seem to have associated the ethics
of a magical act with its 'magical shade'.  This is common even among
today's mages, though it is becoming more fashionable to posit a
veritable rainbow of definitions based upon the energies which make 
up one's Work.

Yet, unlike some of the less educated of yesterday's and today's mages,
Crowley had at least a smattering of exposure to philosophical concepts
of dynamic dualism, polarity and its sublime expression in the works of
taoists, if we are to believe his hagiographers.    There are a few passages
which indicate that his ideas about black magic were not at all simple,
and the following is a good indicator that more lay beneath the surface
than he was wont to expose:

[A note in regards the killing of an animal within the 'magical Circle'.]

"It is a mistake to suppose that the victim is injured.  On the contrary,
this is the most blessed and merciful of all deaths, for the elemental
spirit is directly built up into Godhead - the exact goal of its efforts
through countless incarnations.  On the other hand, the practice of
torturing animals to death in order to obtain the elemental as a slave
is indefensible, utterly black magic of the very worst kind, involving
as it does a metaphysical basis of dualism.  There is, however, no
objection to dualism or black magic when they are properly understood."

Ibid, page 219.
_____________________________

When we come to examine the 'Black Brothers', the 'Fratribus Nigris'
to whom Crowley attributed the darkest of magics, he seems utterly 
concise and clear, even while using metaphor:

"To attain the Grade of Magister Templi [associated with the crossing of
the Abyss in the Tree of Life, from Chesed (4) to Binah (3)], he must
perform two tasks; the emancipation from thought by putting each idea
against its opposite, and refusing to prefer either; and the consecration
of himself as a pure vehicle for the influence of the order to which he
aspires.

"He must then decide upon the critical adventure of our Order [A.'. A.'.];
the absolute abandonment of himself and his attainments.  He cannot remain
indefinitely an Exempt Adept [in Chesed]; he is pushed onward by the
irresistible momentum that he has generated.

"Should he fail, by will or weakness, to make his self-annihilation
absolute, he is none the less thrust forth into the Abyss; but instead of
being received and reconstructed in the Third Order, as a Babe in the womb
of our Lady BABALON, under the Night of Pan, to grow up to be Himself
wholly and truly as He was not previously, he remains in the Abyss,
secreting his elements round his Ego as if isolated from the Universe,
and becomes what is called a 'Black Brother'.  Such a being is gradually
disintegrated from lack of nourishment and the slow but certain action
of the attraction of the rest of the Universe, despite his now desperate
efforts to insulate and protect himself, and to aggrandize himself by
predatory practices."

Ibid, Appendix II, 'One Star in Sight', page 332.
____________________________________________________

My other source regarding the Black Brothers was _Liber Aleph_, which
states in quite certain terms who and what we are:
"De Fratribus Nigris Filiis Iniquitatis
[Of the Black Brothers, Sons of Iniquity]

"Of the Black Brothers, o my Son, I will write these Things following.
I have told thee already concerning Change, how it is the Law, because
every Change is an Act of Love under Will.  So then he that is Adept
Exempt, whether in Our Holy Order or another, may not remain in the
Pillar of Mercy, because it is not balanced, but is unstable.  Therefore
is the Choice given unto him, whether he will destroy his Temple,
and give up his Life, extending it to Universal Life, or whether
he will make a Fortress about that Temple, and abide therein, in the
false Sphere of Daath, which is in the Abyss.  And to the Adepts of
Our Holy Order this Choice is terrible, by cause they must abandon
even Him whose Knowledge and Conversation they have attained.
Yet, o my Son, they have much Help of Our Order in this Aeon, because
the General Formula is Love, so that their Habit itself urgeth them
to the Bed of Our Lady BABALON.  Know then the Black Brothers by these
True Signs of their Initiation of Iniquity, that they resist Change,
restrict and deny Love, fear Death.  *Percutiantur.*"

_Liber Aleph vel CXI; The Book of Wisdom or Folly_, 
by Aleister Crowley, Samuel Weiser, 1991; Chapter 104.


"De Fratribus Nigris
[On the Black Brothers]

"O my Son, know this concerning the Black Brothers, them that 
exult: I am I.  This is Falsity and Delusion, for the Law endureth
not Exception.  So then these Brethren are not Apart, as they
vainly think being wrought by Error; but are peculiar combinations
of Nature in Her Variety.  Rejoice then even in the Contemplation
of these, for they are proper to Perfection, and Adornments of
Beauty, like a Mole upon the Cheek of a Woman."

Ibid, Chapter 166.
___________________________

Therefore, in the selection of such a name as 'Frater Nigris' as a name of
initiation in the Ordo Templi Orientis (OTO) - that august body which takes
as its Prophet the Master Therion himself - it can be said that such was an
expression of blasphemy.  

That it should be in association with the First Degree, that of Birth, 
is doubly significant, and as the Abyss is considered watery, so was it 
in my mind during the rite itself that my initiators would unintendingly 
purchase my passage across the abysmal waters as a Black Brother and 
stubborn Ego (perdurabo indeed).

In this did I revel, and for my subsequent correspondence adopted
the exhultation: 'I am I!' from the passage quoted above.  The Formula
of the Black Brother would become my banner; a growing Mole upon the 
Cheek of the Woman that is OTO.  I admit of my delight in this regard,
and of my strong distaste for organizations on the whole, yet my Holy
Guardian Angel had suggested that I engage such a group on my own terms.
This was the only way that I could find solace in such an ordeal.

With this behind me, I continued my studies in magick, and began to
experiment with blasphemous and/or controversial projects.  One of
these was the reconfiguration of the Qabalah around the language
of English, resulting in _Liber Gematria_ (apparently paralleling
the efforts of some mages before me).

During the extrapolation of this project I discovered a fascinating 
association.  The name 'Frater Nigris' added, in English, to 657.   The 
addition of a simple 'I' (= 9) added further insult to the Master by 
associating the Black Brother with the Beast (666).  This I did with
great joy and abandon, pairing 'I am I!' with 'Frater Nigris (666)'.

Such is the practice of the black mage, it seems, to corrupt and twist
the teachings of the Prophet of the order to which I belong into a
veritable mobius, making of myself an exception to any Rule that
should happen to be put forward in dogmatic and ignorant frenzy.
Yet even this was not the end of the spectacle.  

Quite beyond my own belief and speculation a friend from the UK heard 
about my studies in Qabalah (particularly those regarding the qliphoth) 
and contacted me with some curiosity.  He directed my attention to
Liber 418 (_The Vision and the Voice_), wherein the passage below was
contained:

"Then the Devil of the Aethyr, that mighty devil Choronzon, crieth aloud,
Zazas, Zazas, Nasatanada Zazas.

"I am the Master of Form, and from me all forms proceed.

"I am I.  I have shut myself up from the spendthrifts, my gold is safe
in my treasure-chamber, and I have made every living thing my concubine,
and none shall touch them, save only I."

_Liber XXX AERVM vel SAECVLI.... The Vision and the Voice_,
by Aleister Crowley, quoted from 'Gems from the Equinox',
Edited by Israel Regardie, Falcon Press, 1988;
Zax, 10th Aethyr, page 517.
_____________________________________________________

Not only is 'I am I' the cry of the Black Brothers, it seems, but also 
that of the Demon of the Abyss, that horrific entity which is said to 
rule this realm and act upon those who attempt a Crossing, dispersing 
and dissolving their ego.  I must tell you that I did not know
what to make of this at first (and I only now have a vague concept).
What could it mean that I was somehow identifying with the Master
of Forms?  He is that nasty malevolence over which Crowley claimed
victory at the end of this aethyr!

Shortly thereafter this same fellow (with whom I have now engaged
a quite spirited dialogue for some months) also revealed to me that
the name 'Nigris' in the Hebrew gematria has a quite significant
numerical value:

N       50
I       10
G       3
R       200
I       10
S       60
        ---
        333

The significance lies in the fact that the number of Choronzon has
traditionally be held to be IDENTICAL! (333)  This was beyond any
of my wildest dreams or fantasies.  I had not only been unaware of
the connection between the Black Brothers and Choronzon, but 
had avoided the Hebrew gematria, never imagining that any sort
of 'confirmation' could be found there in my magical motto!

This, then, is what led to the adoption of my current signature.
In correspondence since then I've speculated rather deeply
regarding the path of the Black Brother and leave this as an
appendix to the present work.  

I note, in passing, and just as I write this, that the English 
gematria of 'Black' is 56, and that this has associations with
Babalon and the Unicursal Hexagram.  So many mysteries lie within 
this path that they are somewhat difficult to unravel all at once.  
This too shall be left for later speculation.


=============================================================

_Liber Nigris_ - Appendix

Speculation on the Path of Frater Nigris, the Black Brother
[Inspired in part by the eminent qabalist, 'V'/'Maskharah (333)'.]

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
The word of Sin is Restriction.


The Cry of Exhultation

I am I!  I am Frater Nigris, Black Brother.  I come to challenge all within
the Order, most importantly myself, and to exhort that my black kin are not
to be condemned.  As the Master taught, I am an anomaly.  Fear me or love me, 
I shall stand before you and open my arms.  I have been drawn to the Abyss
by love, rather than by will.  I attain a stasis there.  I may dive downward, 
into the Great Abyss, to plumb the will of my true self.  I may wait and 
attempt to defeat the fearsome Dakini.

I am I!  Be done with your silly requirements of self-destruction,
ego-dissolution and fragmentation.  I shall wander through the dark caves 
in quest of the Pearl of Compassion, trespassing the shells of my identities.  
I shall be passionate in the embrace of my sweet Abyss, letting Her engulf 
my entirety, until I sprout from the soil as a reed in the moist warmth of 
spring.  I shall brave the Void and the tunnels of fear, of wrath, whelped 
into the Earth which is Heaven and the Heaven which is Earth!

I am I!  Lusty and courageous, I accept not the death of the withering
way.  Behold, I construct a Tower of my manhood to withstand the Dragon
and withhold my blood from the Cup of Submission, retaining my integrity,
my impetus.  Behold, I oppose my kin to test our blades and preserve the
strength and health of the Order.

I am I!  I exhalt in the joy of my selfhood and the truth of the permanent
nonduality of the center of my being with its circumference; that atman,
that soul, that buddha-nature, with the shield, the mask, the body and
all that I seem to be.  

I am I!  I complete my journey into the Void to expose my utter perfection, 
that Ego, that Last Husk, that Final Shell which was never grasped and
shall never be released

I am I!

I am the Black Brother (333) to the traditional. 
I am the Beast (666) to the eclectic.  
I enter a tradition which feeds on dogma and has a semantic allegiance to
  self-expression, fruitful independence.  
I therefore unify the streams of consciousness by forging a contrary path 
  to the common dogma that masquerades as Thelema.
I am the path.  
I have no goal except to be Me, in whatever form.  
I am Choronzon, the Demon Child of Wisdom and Understanding.  
I am Her tantric monk and my partner is my Abyss.  
I perch on Her brink, waiting for a summons from the Queen.  
I dance in response to Her teasing and testing.
I leap into Her depth, Her perfect and horrible Mystery.

----------------------------------------------------------

The Path of the Black Brother and the Holy Guardian Angel (HGA)

The Holy Guardian Angel (HGA) is our reflection as we come from Malkuth.
We 'meet' in Tiphareth and come to identify our self with our Shadow.  
Tiphareth is the center of a cosmic mirror-game; the HGA is a sort of phase-
shifted reflection.  We think of ourselves in terms of past or future and 
these fragments, these reflections, fuse into a sort of meta-reality,
giving rise to an Entity of Light who has as much at stake and as much 
to gain in our Conversation, our Consortium

Our knowledge about Kether and Da'ath is the result of naming 
Malkuth/Kether (tao).  Tao is unknowable in the intellectual sense 
and cannot be quantified in terms of either One or None.  Though tao does 
not contain things, tao makes all things possible.  Our knowledge 
prevents us from bliss and only the Knowledge which is the release 
of knowledge (Da'ath) may bring about the realization of the essential 
unity of Earth and Heaven (Malkuth and Kether).  A leap of faith (INTO 
the Abyss) can lead to gnosis or the Great Awakening.


The progression is as follows:

Malkuth > Yesod > Tiphareth > Daath/Yesod > Kether/Malkuth

After one passes through Tiphareth one moves into a sort of 'mirrored water' 
in which one simultaneously enters Da'ath and Yesod.   From the spheres which
lie 'below the Abyss', Binah and Chokmah seem separate, parallel.  Once one
passes beyond the abysmal veil (Paroketh) they are One in Malkuth/Kether.

The water of the Great Abyss - the pain of our perceived separation 
from our Mother - brings a magical vision, Maya.   Maya inspires our valiant 
trek into the Abyss, where we discover the Mysteries of Birth, Life, Death, 
and their ultimate identity in the Heaven of Earth.

At the same time that this journey is made, our HGA makes one in the 
OPPOSITE direction which corresponds directly.  Our socially created 
'ego' voyages into unity while our HGA plummets into diversity.  Between 
the 'two of us' (and we feel each other most distinctly at Tiphareth) we 
encompass the cosmos.  Through our mutual endeavors we come to
discover ourselves and our HGA as One (and simultaneously Many!).

The path of the Black Brother at first relies less on will than on love 
and is perceived differently than either the Great Leap or what the Master 
has said regarding the Great Error.   Instead of overcoming the dread Demon 
Choronzon, continuing the Crossing and coming to rest upon the Other
Shore, one dives down deeply (a descent into the emotions, rather than 
remaining 'above it all' in emotional detachment), thereby discovering 
the 'inside' of Da'ath, the Black Hole (qliphotic realm), the 'back side'
of the Tree of Life.

The path of the Black Brother concerns less the path of the Babe
than it does that of the Enterer, Guardian and Pearl Diver.  Those
who attempt to unify with the Abyss in this way will dive down into 
Her qliphoth, only to emerge (if successful) in Malkuth/Kether 
(an identical yet differently perceived 'other side' to the Abyss - 
the 'bottom' of the chasm).

One BECOMES the Black Guard (Demon Choronzon) and enters the horrid 
Void of the qliphoth.  This lies through the doorway which is Da'ath, 
below the traditional Tree (interpret 'below' as you like).  Moving 
deeply into its depths, one dives for the Pearl of Compassion amidst 
the fearsomely fragmented shells of one's former self-concepts.

Choronzon is traditionally (for the White Mage) the Enemy or 
Adversary who must be 'purified', opposed in some fashion.  
There is no essential division between the 'human' aspects of 
consciousness and the 'divine' ones.  Only when seen through 
the Abyss (Maya) does this division hold.   

The traditional model is unidirectional and biased toward unification.  
In this sense it is against the Many, the All, and is incomplete.
This is quite reminiscent of the Vedantic mystics who posit that Maya
is 'simply illusion' and wish to rid themselves and their world of Her 
'poisonous imagery' so as to perceive 'undifferentiated reality'.  

Substitute 'reality' for 'God' and 'illusion' for 'Satan' and you have 
yourself an extreme and rabid dualist.  This psychotic model will 
indeed yield results if pursued to its end, but in the mean time the 
world and everything in Her is seen as 'demonic' and in need of being 
destroyed.

For the Black Mage, Choronzon is not an enemy to be feared but is 
related to transformation; the state which transforms.  He is the Last 
Shell of the Black Mage, thrust into an ever-intensifying unity while 
hir inner Self (HGA) is blasted into ten-thousand pieces.  Choronzon is 
the Being of Initiation; the role of the Compassionate Hero and the 
perfecting state of consciousness.  

The Black Brother, as Choronzon, dives INTO the Abyss, the Great 
Chasm, the open and willing Kteis, and resolves Himself with Her most 
feared aspects - those which are alien and seemingly inmicable to Him.  
In this scenario each of Her energies becomes like the Eastern 'dakini'.  
Dakinis are dual-aspected guardians of primordial wisdom who challenge 
and then, when the lesson is learned, yield, becoming the Lover or 
Companion - the aspect of the self which is the Self.

The Knowledge of Da'ath is 'biblical' (i.e. conjugatory).  The mystical 
unity that the cosmic and coordinated Climax makes possible dispels the
veil which seems to divide our apparently individuated self from our Self.
As this veil is lifted we Come to understand that our Knowledge, our 
conjoining, is itself merely a figment in the face of our true and 
everlasting unity in diversity.  

Descending into the emotions enables us to discover all that we are.
One begins to reintegrate emotions with ideas.  Emotions have to do with 
the vibrations of the physical body and with social interaction, while the 
intellect seems more aligned with the inertia of the body and isolation 
(contrast karma and jnana yogas, Pure Land with Zen Buddhism, and Rogerian 
Group Therapy with Reichian Orgonics).

The HGA, diffracting amidst the horrors of multiplicity, sends forth the 
Pearl of Her pain, and the Black Brother, the Black Guard Choronzon, 
receives this Pearl, rescuing Her as She secures His liberation. The Pearl 
of Compassion is absorbed in order to discover the truth of the identity
of self and Self.  

Once the unifying and diversifying energies reach the Climax, 
Choronzon becomes anointed (christed) by drinking from the Cup, 
and the Universe (Malkuth) is recognized upon Her Throne of Wisdom 
(Kether).  The conclusion of this Descent brings one into 'Malkuth/Kether' 
having plumbed the depths of Malkuth and discovered Kether, Her divinity, 
WITHIN Her rather than without Her.

It is only fear which paralyzes us as we seek to cross or plumb the
Abyss.  If we defeat Choronzon we defeat ourselves, and through that
method we shall fail unless practiced in yoga.  If we BECOME Choronzon
our fear can prevent us from uniting with the Abyss, leading to a slow
sinking into the sewage system of the Tree; becoming part of its refuse.  
When our fear becomes too great or our courage somehow returns, we can 
then return to the Quest.

---------------------------------------------------------

Grant's Choronzon

"The magical order or hierarchy on the back of the Tree is
under the aegis of Choronzon, the Lord of the Downward Path
and the Guardian of the Pylon of Daath.  The number 333
(Choronzon) is also that of the Jackal or Fox (ShGL), the
hieroglyph of Shaitan-Aiwass whom Crowley invoked as the
Supreme Daemon of Thelema (Will).  Daath means 'knowledge'
in the sense in which the term is used in the biblical allegory of
the 'Fall'; the 'knowledge' that opened man's eyes to the creative
nature of the solar-phallic power within him, in its special 
relationship to the woman who is the outer manifestation of the
power (shakti).  This pylon (Daath) is the Door to the Back of
the Tree, and its planetary representative is Uranus which is
also the door to the sexual magic of Set or Shaitan, as it is
practised in the eleventh degree of the O.T.O.*"

[* - "...the XI' does not necessarily comport the use of homosexual 
formulae; on the contrary, it involves the use of the yoni in its lunar 
phase, and of that 'other eye', ayin or yoni, that is known to the 
initiates of the Ophidian Current as the 'Eye of Set'."]

"Notwithstanding the unavoidable  and constant danger of
over-simplifying these complex and occult matters, it may be
suggested that whereas the ordinary aspect of the Tree of Life
represents the Magician in relation to his present and future
powers, the reverse of the Tree typifies pre-human and extra-
human influences that impinge upon his consciousness via the
pylon of Daath.  A minimum of these influences seep, so to speak,
into the front of the Tree, but when the operator passes beyond
the Gate of the Eleventh Power-zone he automatically invokes
Choronzon and becomes exposed to the full onslaught of ata-
vistic powers."


"Choronzon is probably a corrupt form of Chozzar,* the
dark god of Atlantean sorceries who is the type of extra-terrestrial
entity having a shadowy being beyond the rim of our universe."

[* - "The symbol of this dark deity resembes a triple prong of Neptune,
which is the name by which Chozzar is known to the Profane.   Cf. the
Chaldaean letter Shin with its tripple tongue of fire attributed to Set or
Shaitan.  The word 'chozzar' means 'pig'.  This animal was adopted by the
Typhonians as a symbol of Set.  In the Tantric Cults of the Vama Marg
the pig was chosen as a secret symbol because it is the only animal
known to eat human excrement...."]

All from _Cults of the Shadow_, by Kenneth Grant, Samuel Weiser, 1976;
pages 101, 170-3.
__________________________________________________________

Notes on the Origins of Babalon and the Beast

"The fourth is the Asiatic world, OVLM HOShIH, Olahm Ha-Asia, the world
of action, called also the world of shells, OVLM HQLIPVTh, Olahm Ha-
Qliphoth, which is this world of matter...

...Next follow the seven Hells occupied by those demons which represent
incarnate human vices, and torture those who have given themselves
up to such vices in earth-life.  Their prince is Samael, SMAL, the angel
of poison and of death.  His wife is the harlot, or woman of whoredom,
AShTh ZnVNIM, Isheth Zenunim; and united they are called the beast,
CHIVA, Chioa.  Thus the infernal trinity is completed, which is, so to
speak, the averse and caricature of the supernal Creative One.  Samael
is considered to be identical with Satan."

_The Kabbalah Unveiled_, Transl. by S.L.MacGregor Mathers, page 30.
_______________________________________________________


"Glory unto the Scarlet Woman, Babylon, the Mother of Abominations
  that rideth upon the Beast....mingled it in the cup of her Whoredom."

_Liber CDXVIII (The Vision and the Voice)_, Aleister Crowley,
12th Aethyr.

_________________________________________________________


"And there came one of the seven angels
 which had the seven vials,
 and talked with me,
 saying unto me, Come hither;
I will shew unto thee the judgement
 of the great whore
 that sitteth upon many waters.

2 With whom the kings of earth
 have committed fornication,
 and the inhabitants of the earth
 have been made drunk
 with the wine of her fornication.

3 So he carried me away in the spirit
 into the wilderness:
 and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet colored beast,
 full of the names of blasphemy,
 having seven heads and ten horns.

4 And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour,
 and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls,
 having a golden cup in her hand
 full of abominations
 and filthiness of her abominations.

5 And upon her forehead was a name written,
 MYSTERY,
 BABYLON THE GREAT,
 THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS
 AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.

6 And I saw the woman drunken
 with the blood of the saints,
 and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus:
 and when I saw her,
 I wondered with great admiration."

_The Bible_, King James Version, 'Revelations', Chapter 17.

_________________________________________________________

Some Reflections on the Beast/Shiva and the Dakini/Babalon 
(Tantric Roles)

In the Abyss we have the UNION between the Beast and Babalon.  
This can be achieved in many ways.  Babalon can slay the Beast and 
Herself to resolve both to One, encompass the Beast (either through 
consumption or conjugation) and thereafter unify with Him through 
absorption.  Babalon can also submit to the Beast in order to be 
absorbed by Him.

The Beast (notice that He is not named) can slay Himself (in the form 
of Choronzon) and Babalon (by CROSSING the Abyss) to resolve both to 
One; submit to Babalon, becoming one of Her saints and pouring forth His 
lifeblood for Her absorption.  The Beast can also somehow either slay 
Babalon/Dakini (the Marduk/Tiamat scenario) or absorb Her into himself 
(a reversal of the post-LYLYTh, ADM => EVE process).

Also, the Beast and Babalon CONCEIVE a Cosmic Thought, a Word, if you 
will, which permeates and renews the cosmos.


Here I leave off, a substantial cosmology undeveloped or undiscovered.

In dedication to SHe which is All, One and None,

Invoke  me under my stars.  Love is the law, love under will.

I am I!

Frater (I) Nigris (DCLXVI) CCCXXXIII
Tyagi Nagasiva
(C) 1993
Tyagi@HouseofKaos.Abyss.com
House of Kaos
871 Ironwood Drive
San Jose, CA 95125-2815
===

From: cal@hplb.hpl.hp.com (Colin Low)
Subject: Re: Staying out of the Abyss
Date: Wed, 11 May 1994 12:58:44 GMT

Tyagi Mordred Nagasiva (Tyagi@cup.portal.com) wrote:
|: Because Colin asked...  :>
|: ____________________________________________________________

|: _Liber Nigris: The Story of 'Frater Nigris' and 'I am I'_

|: By Frater Nigris (Who would know better???)

If the definition of a Black Brother is someone who engulfs correspondents
in a tsunami of text, then you qualify. As you haven't answered either of
my questions directly, I've waded through an ocean of purple prose
and consigned most of it the abyss - you are spending so much time
there I didn't think you would object if your intellectual output joined
you.

I've tried to discover what specific behaviours, techniques or beliefs are 
involved in being a black brother. My questions relate to how you are 
interpreting these personally.

|: "But 'to sell one's soul to the devil', to renounce no matter what for
|: an equivalent in personal gain,... is black magic.  You are no longer a
|: noble giver of your all, but a mean huckster."

This might suggest that in any situation you would place your own needs
above those of another. How does this square with your Vow of Compassion?
Is this one of those contradictory elements required (as discussed in another
thread) to maximise the dramatic and heroic aspects of your life? 

|: "...the Single Supreme Ritual is the attainment of the Knowledge and 
|: Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel.  *It is the raising of the 
|: complete man in a vertical straight line.*

|: "_Any deviation from this line tends to become black magic.  Any other
|: operation is black magic."


|: "There are, of course, entirely black forms of magic.  To him who has not
|: given every drop of his blood for the cup of BABALON all magic power is
|: dangerous.  There are even more debased and evil forms, things in
|: themselves black.  Such is the use of spiritual force to material ends.
|: Christian Scientists, Mental Healers, Professional Diviners, Physics
|: and the like, are all *ipso facto* Black Magicians.

|: "They exchange gold for dross.  They sell their higher powers for gross
|: and temporary benefit."

How are you using your spiritual force for material ends? How does this
square with your Vow of Poverty? (I am clearly missing something here; no
doubt I will find that you have chosen to interpret Crowley's plain
language in a way which makes sense to you personally)

|: "To attain the Grade of Magister Templi [associated with the crossing of
|: the Abyss in the Tree of Life, from Chesed (4) to Binah (3)], he must
|: perform two tasks; the emancipation from thought by putting each idea
|: against its opposite, and refusing to prefer either; and the consecration
|: of himself as a pure vehicle for the influence of the order to which he
|: aspires.
|: "He must then decide upon the critical adventure of our Order [A.'. A.'.];
|: the absolute abandonment of himself and his attainments.  He cannot remain
|: indefinitely an Exempt Adept [in Chesed]; he is pushed onward by the
|: irresistible momentum that he has generated.

|: "Should he fail, by will or weakness, to make his self-annihilation
|: absolute, he is none the less thrust forth into the Abyss; but instead of
|: being received and reconstructed in the Third Order, as a Babe in the womb
|: of our Lady BABALON, under the Night of Pan, to grow up to be Himself
|: wholly and truly as He was not previously, he remains in the Abyss,
|: secreting his elements round his Ego as if isolated from the Universe,
|: and becomes what is called a 'Black Brother'.  Such a being is gradually
|: disintegrated from lack of nourishment and the slow but certain action
|: of the attraction of the rest of the Universe, despite his now desperate
|: efforts to insulate and protect himself, and to aggrandize himself by
|: predatory practices."

Is there any experiential basis for this? If Crowley's ideas are correct,
then you should be making desparate efforts to insulate and protect yourself
(by, for example, refusing to play with any organisation which constrains
you). Is this the case? Are you aggrandising yourself by predatory practices?
Of course, if Crowley's ideas are daft, then setting yourself up as a Black
Brother is also pretty daft.

|: "Of the Black Brothers, o my Son, I will write these Things following.
|: I have told thee already concerning Change, how it is the Law, because
|: every Change is an Act of Love under Will.  So then he that is Adept
|: Exempt, whether in Our Holy Order or another, may not remain in the
|: Pillar of Mercy, because it is not balanced, but is unstable.  Therefore
|: is the Choice given unto him, whether he will destroy his Temple,
|: and give up his Life, extending it to Universal Life, or whether
|: he will make a Fortress about that Temple, and abide therein, in the
|: false Sphere of Daath, which is in the Abyss.  And to the Adepts of
|: Our Holy Order this Choice is terrible, by cause they must abandon
|: even Him whose Knowledge and Conversation they have attained.
|: Yet, o my Son, they have much Help of Our Order in this Aeon, because
|: the General Formula is Love, so that their Habit itself urgeth them
|: to the Bed of Our Lady BABALON.  Know then the Black Brothers by these
|: True Signs of their Initiation of Iniquity, that they resist Change,
|: restrict and deny Love, fear Death.  *Percutiantur.*"

Are you displaying the True Signs of their Initiation? Are you resisting Change,
restricting and denying Love? Do you fear Death?

|: "O my Son, know this concerning the Black Brothers, them that 
|: exult: I am I.  This is Falsity and Delusion, for the Law endureth
|: not Exception.  So then these Brethren are not Apart, as they
|: vainly think being wrought by Error; but are peculiar combinations
|: of Nature in Her Variety.  Rejoice then even in the Contemplation
|: of these, for they are proper to Perfection, and Adornments of
|: Beauty, like a Mole upon the Cheek of a Woman."

|: In this did I revel, and for my subsequent correspondence adopted
|: the exhultation: 'I am I!' from the passage quoted above.  The Formula
|: of the Black Brother would become my banner; a growing Mole upon the 
|: Cheek of the Woman that is OTO.  I admit of my delight in this regard,
|: and of my strong distaste for organizations on the whole, yet my Holy
|: Guardian Angel had suggested that I engage such a group on my own terms.
|: This was the only way that I could find solace in such an ordeal.

Ah! You admit to a specific behaviour associated with being a Black Brother.
You are Mr. Awkward in the OTO. 

|: With this behind me, I continued my studies in magick, and began to
|: experiment with blasphemous and/or controversial projects.  One of
|: these was the reconfiguration of the Qabalah around the language
|: of English, resulting in _Liber Gematria_ (apparently paralleling
|: the efforts of some mages before me).

I would have thought this was as controversial as eating soup with a
dessert spoon.

|: Such is the practice of the black mage, it seems, to corrupt and twist
|: the teachings of the Prophet of the order to which I belong into a
|: veritable mobius, making of myself an exception to any Rule that
|: should happen to be put forward in dogmatic and ignorant frenzy.
|: Yet even this was not the end of the spectacle.

Okay, so you are Mr. Awkward. This doesn't leave you with a lot to do
unless rules are put forward in a dogmatic and ignorant frenzy; from
what I've seen of Bill Heidrick's postings I can't imagine him doing that,
but I shouldn't rule out the possibility that he froths at the mouth on
nights of the full moon.

|: Not only is 'I am I' the cry of the Black Brothers, it seems, but also 
|: that of the Demon of the Abyss, that horrific entity which is said to 
|: rule this realm and act upon those who attempt a Crossing, dispersing 
|: and dissolving their ego.  I must tell you that I did not know
|: what to make of this at first (and I only now have a vague concept).
|: What could it mean that I was somehow identifying with the Master
|: of Forms?  He is that nasty malevolence over which Crowley claimed
|: victory at the end of this aethyr!

I am me as well, and have been all my life. So what. What is it you *do*
that makes you a Black Brother? Is it just a lyrical glamourisation
of the thoughts and feelings an ordinary person leading an ordinary life
(with a dash of added awkwardness) or is there more to it? 

|: I am I!  I am Frater Nigris, Black Brother.  I come to challenge all within
|: the Order, most importantly myself, and to exhort that my black kin are not
|: to be condemned.  As the Master taught, I am an anomaly.  Fear me or love me, 
|: I shall stand before you and open my arms.  I have been drawn to the Abyss
|: by love, rather than by will.  I attain a stasis there.  I may dive downward, 
|: into the Great Abyss, to plumb the will of my true self.  I may wait and 
|: attempt to defeat the fearsome Dakini.

How do you know you have encountered *the* Great Abyss? I have argued elsewhere
that the word abyss can denote a variety of different experiences. You may
be dangling your toes in the shallows, or may be romping around in a pond
on your own. Can you be sure you have found *the* Great Abyss, or is this
a part of the necessary aggrandisement that accompanies being a Black Brother
(see Crowley above)?

|: I am I!  Be done with your silly requirements of self-destruction,
|: ego-dissolution and fragmentation.  I shall wander through the dark caves 
|: in quest of the Pearl of Compassion, trespassing the shells of my identities.  
|: I shall be passionate in the embrace of my sweet Abyss, letting Her engulf 
|: my entirety, until I sprout from the soil as a reed in the moist warmth of 
|: spring.  I shall brave the Void and the tunnels of fear, of wrath, whelped 
|: into the Earth which is Heaven and the Heaven which is Earth!

Yes, but will you do anything different as a consequence, and if so, what?

I have been unable to discover how (in your case) being a Black Brother is any 
different from Being Thyagi. The only specific behaviour you have mentioned is
Being Awkward, but I'll bet that you were an awkward SOB long before you
were a Black Brother, so Being Awkward is subsumed into Being Thyagi. If
being a Black Brother is synonymous with doing what you would have done anyway
then I suspect you might not be the only one. You might be in quite a large 
crowd. A very, very large crowd. The least exclusive club in the world.

Colin
===

From: markk@cypress.West.Sun.COM (Mark Kampe)
Subject: Re: Staying out of the Abyss
Date: 11 May 1994 16:14:18 GMT

In article 111353@cup.portal.com, Tyagi@cup.portal.com (The Good One)
writes in clarification of black brothers, and I (The Evil One)
attempt to obscure his revelation and conceal their blackness by
bathing it in white light (I'm new at this 'Evil One' stuff, so give
me a while to come up to speed :-)

> ...
> is indefensible, utterly black magic of the very worst kind, involving
> as it does a metaphysical basis of dualism.  There is, however, no
> objection to dualism or black magic when they are properly understood."

Quite reasonable but for this sentence ... which leaves me baffled.
How is it that proper understanding of dualism and black magick turns
an "indefensible" thing into a "no objection" thing?  I wrestled for
a few minutes, and the best I could do was:

	such acts are perpetrated (in general) based on gross 
	misunderstandings, and from such misguided intent, it 
	is quite unlikely that a good result can be obtained.

	such acts (or perspectives) are not dangerous "in se", 
	and can be in fact performed/employed to good purpose by 
	someone who understands what (s)he is doing and why.

	thus, the evil is not in the acts but in the ignorance
	that precipitated them.	

This, however, seems unsatisfactory ... as it leaves room for
'enlightened torture in order to bind another creature as a servant'.
If the only difference between a "black brother" and an exempt adept 
who has crossed the abyss is what is in their hearts ... then why 
does he need go on so about observables?  He makes a big distinction
between the white path and black path, and then says "but actually, 
when you get down to it, there probably isn't any difference".  Is
that it?  What am I missing here?
===

From: Tyagi@cup.portal.com (Tyagi Mordred Nagasiva)
Subject: Re: Staying out of the Abyss
Date: Wed, 11 May 94 19:05:18 PDT

Do what thou wilt


Colin reviewed the following document and I respond to his queries:
 
||: _Liber Nigris: The Story of 'Frater Nigris' and 'I am I'_
||: By Frater Nigris (Who would know better???)

[much angst deleted]

|I've tried to discover what specific behaviours, techniques or beliefs are 
|involved in being a black brother. My questions relate to how you are 
|interpreting these personally.

Part of my answer comes from how people popularly interpret the path of
the Black Brother after Crowley portrayed hir life in such extreme fashion.
Part of it comes from my own interpretation - taking the path and describing
it rather than describing it from outside and marking its pitfalls.


||: "But 'to sell one's soul to the devil', to renounce no matter what for
||: an equivalent in personal gain,... is black magic.  You are no longer a
||: noble giver of your all, but a mean huckster."
|
|This might suggest that in any situation you would place your own needs
|above those of another. How does this square with your Vow of Compassion?

Crowley defines as 'black magic' anything short of HGA-work.  Personally
I prefer to use the phrase 'black magick' for that which is spawned from
my unconscious mind.

I don't have a vow of Compassion.  I have a vow of Charity, by which I
am encouraged to 'love Me, adore Me, help Me'.  My vows are statements of
intent, targets for the aiming.  I cannot put My needs ahead of others for
the simple reason that there is no 'others' which are different from
Myself.  I don't make that difference.  "The word of Sin is Restriction."


|Is this one of those contradictory elements required (as discussed in another
|thread) to maximise the dramatic and heroic aspects of your life? 

Likely.  What else could it be?  Any claim about oneself is dramatic, any
appelation heroic.  We are but waves in water.  My claims are the echoes
of leaves in the wind.


||: themselves black.  Such is the use of spiritual force to material ends.
|
|How are you using your spiritual force for material ends? 

Those were Crowley's definitions of 'black magic'.  I was quoting them in
order to make the case of Crowley's extremity when speaking of the 'black'.
If you would like to know how I enjoy thinking of black magick, then I can
spam this thread again with an essay by Haramullah. ;>


||: "To attain the Grade of Magister Templi [associated with the crossing of

||: "He must then decide upon the critical adventure of our Order [A.'. A.'.];
||: the absolute abandonment of himself and his attainments.  He cannot remain

||: "Should he fail, by will or weakness, to make his self-annihilation
||: absolute, he is none the less thrust forth into the Abyss; but instead of

||: ...he remains in the Abyss,
||: secreting his elements round his Ego as if isolated from the Universe,
||: and becomes what is called a 'Black Brother'.  Such a being is gradually
||: disintegrated from lack of nourishment and the slow but certain action
||: of the attraction of the rest of the Universe, despite his now desperate
||: efforts to insulate and protect himself, and to aggrandize himself by
||: predatory practices."
|
|Is there any experiential basis for this? 

I've known a few people who presumed there was.  My own experience bears it
out, especially in the way that I interpret these words.  As I see it,
Crowley was describing the means of 'Crossing the Abyss', often using the
tool of the intellect.  This necessitated a drawing away from the emotional
body (symbolized by giving all the blood of our heart to Babalon).  He saw
people who took a different route (the emotional) 'disintegrate' despite
what he called 'aggrandizement through predatory practices'.

My own experience is that the emotional is but a different tool and leads to
different places which those who use the intellect might not understand
(until later in their path).  It involves the exploration and resolution
of the emottional body (rather than that of the intellectual, though if
performed correctly this is also resolved, through Love).  

The way that the popular Euro-American culture views emotions and other
more bodily things is as demon, antagonist.  Thus the 'demonization' of
what scholars and devotees would call 'wrathful deities'.  Thus the
appearance of the Qliphot - earth energies as I understand them - as
malignant and malevolent.  As I've stated elsewhere, I like to think of
these as hurt elementals (aspects of our emotional and bodily self).


|If Crowley's ideas are correct,
|then you should be making desparate efforts to insulate and protect yourself
|(by, for example, refusing to play with any organisation which constrains
|you). Is this the case? 

Actually, the way I see it, Crowley's description is a slant-wise accurate
one, yet it suffers from perhaps not having been there to see it first-
hand.  When the individual is sufficiently prepared for the journey, then
I suggest that neither is she disintegrated nor does she need to make
desperate attempts at self-preservation, though this might be how it would
appear to one who is venturing ACROSS-ways.

This 'disintegration' doesn't happen with prepared individuals.  They simply
sink into the Abyss, and from the perspective of the Babes, this may well
seem to be a complete disapparance into nothingness.

One of the best ways to preserve oneself, in any case, is association with
some organization.  That I associate with OTO is not a specific discipline
to preserve myself, though it may help in this process.  I took up an
association so that I might make love with Kali, and this might be seen as
the rough equivalent to emptying my heart's blood into Babalon's cup,
even though I may well retain some of that for myself.  As I'm taught, the
Black Brother tends to see Babalon as a Vampiress, and so the retainment
is the WISDOM of the path rather than the dread option it may be to those
of the White Way.
 

|Are you aggrandising yourself by predatory practices?

I may well be.  I know I enjoy what I call 'mondo', and this sometimes
involves wrangling with people like yourself or those who have more pain
and less scholarship.  What I am a predator *for* seems to be important.
Some would no doubt mark it up to psychic power for the fortification of
my ego.  I am not afraid of bolstering my ego in the slightest.  However,
I also see that I tend to prey upon arrogance, and in engaging it with
others and with myself I find a resolution of pain in Love.


||: "Of the Black Brothers, o my Son, I will write these Things following.
||: I have told thee already concerning Change, how it is the Law, because
||: every Change is an Act of Love under Will.  

||: he will make a Fortress about that Temple, and abide therein, in the
||: false Sphere of Daath, which is in the Abyss.  

||: Know then the Black Brothers by these
||: True Signs of their Initiation of Iniquity, that they resist Change,
||: restrict and deny Love, fear Death.  *Percutiantur.*"
|
|Are you displaying the True Signs of their Initiation? 

Certainly I could be seen to be by the adepts of the Order (path) of which
Crowley speaks, yes.  However, again I say that what is seen from the
outside is not necessarily what happens on the *inside*.  I do not accept
these as 'True Signs' excepting from the perspective of the White Lodge.


|Are you resisting Change, restricting and denying Love? Do you fear Death?

I do oppose certain changes.  I do sometimes take actions and engage emotions
which are contrary to the popular notions of love.  I must admit that I do
bear some trepidation in the face of the Unknown, which is the change that
death appears to me to be.


||: "O my Son, know this concerning the Black Brothers, them that 
||: exult: I am I.  

||: In this did I revel, and for my subsequent correspondence adopted
||: the exhultation: 'I am I!' from the passage quoted above.  The Formula
||: of the Black Brother would become my banner; a growing Mole upon the 
||: Cheek of the Woman that is OTO.  
|
|Ah! You admit to a specific behaviour associated with being a Black Brother.
|You are Mr. Awkward in the OTO. 

Not sure what you mean by 'Mr. Awkward'.  I think there is much more to
'exhultation' than typing words on a screen or hollering to the heavens,
even while certain key timings in this regard could be transformational.

The exhultation of 'I am I' amounts, in my estimation, to rejecting the
old standard of the dissolution of the ego, submission to organization
or majority for want of wisdom, or effacement of the self in order to
perform some sort of 'discipline'.  For some of us this simply won't work,
it will debilitate us without having us borne up by the healthy ego-growth
which occurs for some in their youth.  

Some of us accept Starhawk's definition of 'pride' as 'joy in
strength' and rejoice in the power and glory which is our sensate life,
expanding outward in a sometimes wobbly journey through a Garden of
emotional dynamism.


|I am me as well, and have been all my life. So what. What is it you *do*
|that makes you a Black Brother? 

Part of this has to do with the dissociation of 'doingness' and identity.
Part concerns the path into the Abyss (an experience which can only
be described in metaphor).  I experience this on many levels simultaneously.

I began a room-mandala, for example, and Kali showed me that it was a map
of the Tree of Life and I was camped in (or at the edge of) the Abyss.  In
my studies I began to understand that exploring the tool of the emotions
was not the danger which it had once been explained to me, and as my Shakti
or SO is and was an emotion-adept, she took on a role for me as Initiatrix,
described well by the title I gave her (comparable perhaps to 'Scarlet
Woman'), my Abyss.

Also, I used the OTO intiation in a way which was not intended, as a rite
not to secure my birth into the world, but into the Watery Abyss, a kind
of test-swim or primal-pattern for my journey as Black Brother.

Again, if you wish to focus so much on what I *do*, I'd love to respond to
this with an essay that makes it plain what I think of such things (by
Haramullah, 'The Lust for Result') or why practice is damn silly (by
Frater Nigris, '_Liber Practicus: the Sin of Practice_').

I will not do this, however, unless you specifically request it, since
you blustered at my answering you with 'purple prose' (what better?!)
and tsunamis of text (wonderful imagery there).


|Is it just a lyrical glamourisation
|of the thoughts and feelings an ordinary person leading an ordinary life
|(with a dash of added awkwardness) or is there more to it? 

Of course I cannot be sure of this at all.  There is much in my life which
is not ordinary, if that is what you mean.  I feel that you are challenging
me in a way that proceeds from the position that overt behavior fosters
a sincere and justifiable usage of words and names in one's life.  That in
order to be worthy of grandiose names and high-faluting titles one must in
some way extend beyond the 'ordinary'.  Perhaps this is so, though I prefer
to merge the 'ordinary' with the 'chaotic', or magical, and ride the wave.

I've gone into my practices numerous times here in alt.magick, and several
times I've received complaints that I was 'bragging' and 'spouting off'.
Mostly I don't speak of my path excepting in my attempts to understand it
through the popular concepts of my day.  That I have taken vows and dedicated
myself to a particular goddess, am experimenting with new types of ritual,
symbolism and lifestyle are not, to me, absolute proof of anything.  The only
thing I can suggest to you is that you ask of those around me what kind of
person I am or come to reside in my Haus.  Even this will not gain you the
absolute solution.

Who is 'truly a mage'?  Who is 'truly a charlatan'?  I think this is silly.


||: I shall stand before you and open my arms.  I have been drawn to the Abyss
||: by love, rather than by will.  I attain a stasis there.  I may dive 
||: ward, into the Great Abyss, to plumb the will of my true self.  I may wait 
||: and attempt to defeat the fearsome Dakini.
|
|How do you know you have encountered *the* Great Abyss? 

I never put it this way.  It seems important I point out here that these are
metaphors, often particular to the individual, yet sometimes of revelatory
nature to others.  If you find no value in these I present, then so be it.
I make no claim to uniqueness, and even undermine the claim by associating
much of it with Crowley's rhetoric.  I see this as one of the reasons that
I express it to the world, because it proceeds from an aspect of a popular
writer on magical subjects.


|I have argued elsewhere
|that the word abyss can denote a variety of different experiences. 

And I agreed.


|You may
|be dangling your toes in the shallows, or may be romping around in a pond
|on your own. 

Indeed I might be.


|Can you be sure you have found *the* Great Abyss, or is this
|a part of the necessary aggrandisement that accompanies being a Black Brother
|(see Crowley above)?

I think that there have been sufficient evidences for my taste.  I can,
of course, be 'sure' of nothing.  I don't abide in certainty.  Yes, it is
indeed part of the necessary aggrandisement that accompanies being a Black
Brother.  Playing with my appearance and expressing my feelings and thoughts
about myself is part of my practice too.


||: ...I shall wander through the dark caves 
||: in quest of the Pearl of Compassion, trespassing the shells of my identitie
||: I shall be passionate in the embrace of my sweet Abyss, letting Her engulf 
||: my entirety, until I sprout from the soil as a reed in the moist warmth of 
||: spring.  I shall brave the Void and the tunnels of fear, of wrath, whelped 
||: into the Earth which is Heaven and the Heaven which is Earth!
|
|Yes, but will you do anything different as a consequence, and if so, what?

I'm not sure that 'doing anything different' is a worthwhile enterprise.


|I have been unable to discover how (in your case) being a Black Brother is any
|different from Being Thyagi. 

Never has been.  I've been a Black Brother for years.  I've only recently
been one in society.


|Colin

Interesting questions, Colin.  Thanks for keeping me on my toes.

Love is the law

Haramullah
===

From: Tyagi@cup.portal.com (Tyagi Mordred Nagasiva)
Subject: Re: Staying out of the Abyss
Date: Wed, 11 May 94 23:42:01 PDT

Mark Kampe writes:
|> is indefensible, utterly black magic of the very worst kind, involving
|> as it does a metaphysical basis of dualism.  There is, however, no
|> objection to dualism or black magic when they are properly understood."
|
|Quite reasonable but for this sentence ... which leaves me baffled.

Yes, I found this sentence to be quite interesting also.  Now insofar
as I included these 'black quotes' as indicators of Crowley's extremity
when it comes to 'blackness', then I'm not sure that this really bears
upon the Black Brothers per se.  However, I don't claim to know for sure
what he meant by 'properly understood' (unless he refers to my essay on
Black Magick and the Left Hand Path presciently! :>).


|How is it that proper understanding of dualism and black magick turns
|an "indefensible" thing into a "no objection" thing?  

By coming to see it in a *polar* light rather than strictly dualistically.
After all, Crowley posited the value of 0, 1, *and* 2, even if he noted
their limitations as singular theoretics.


|	such acts are perpetrated (in general) based on gross 
|	misunderstandings, and from such misguided intent, it 
|	is quite unlikely that a good result can be obtained.

I don't think that Crowley really participated in this 'good/bad' dichotomy.
He liked to characterized things in extreme ways from various approaches.
In 'De Fratribus Nigris' (Of the Black Brothers) in _Liber Aleph_, he even
goes so far as to support them as part of the Nature of things, preferring
'Silence' to an outright condemnation.  I imagine that 'acts of black magic'
are also of this type, and my experience of his writings is that he does not
polarize around any one perspective (cf. his many exhortations to 'pair one
idea with its complementary and move to their resolution in a new idea',
etc.).


|	such acts (or perspectives) are not dangerous "in se", 
|	and can be in fact performed/employed to good purpose by 
|	someone who understands what (s)he is doing and why.

This seems closer to the mark.  Crowley is more a utilitarian, even though
his writings sometimes betray his hurts and bias.


|	thus, the evil is not in the acts but in the ignorance
|	that precipitated them.	

I don't get that Crowley really supports ideas about 'evil' very much,
and when he does venture into this area, he seems to have already
defined within the context of the essay exactly what that 'evil'
opposes in terms of the goals or values he is presupposing.


|This, however, seems unsatisfactory ... as it leaves room for
|'enlightened torture in order to bind another creature as a servant'.

I think that when he says 'of the worst kind', he is talking less about
some activity which another may do than some experience of otherness which
one may feel in extreme dualism (and any action which may arise from such 
an experience).


|If the only difference between a "black brother" and an exempt adept 
|who has crossed the abyss is what is in their hearts ... then why 
|does he need go on so about observables?  

I think there is more to this division than 'what is in their hearts'.
Firstly, it seems to me that the Black Brothers have an entirely
different attitude toward Babalon, the Abyss, and themselves.  My
impression is that Crowley paints them in much the way that an English
Anthropologist from years ago might have looked askance at the natives
of Africa or South America as 'primitives without civility'.  To him
it seems a dangerous and foolish path into oblivion.  _Liber Nigris..._ 
was a major step toward contradicting Crowley's statements, since he 
may well never have explored the territory of the Black Brother himself.

It is also possible that Crowley very well understood the Path of the
Black Brother, since many of his comments do hint at hidden secrets
found therein.  By railing so hard against it, it is possible that he
described a sort of 'negative space' for those whose temperament is to 
some degree at odds with traditional ceremonial magick (like myself).


|He makes a big distinction
|between the white path and black path, and then says "but actually, 
|when you get down to it, there probably isn't any difference".  Is
|that it?  What am I missing here?

Some of this might be cleared up by his writings in _Magick Without
Tears_, wherein he characterizes the magical world as comprised of
Three 'Schools': the White, the Black and the Yellow.  Ultimately he
does not place any of these in a position of supremacy in relation to
the other two, for... 

"These Schools represent three perfectly
distinct and contrary theories of the Universe, and, therefore,
practices of spiritual science.  The magical formula of each is as
precise as a theorem of trigonometry.  Each assumes as fundamental
a certain law of Nature, and the subject is complicated by the fact
that each School, in a certain sense, admits the formulae of the
other two.  It merely regards them as in some way incomplete,
secondary, or illusory.... The Yellow School stands aloof from the
other two by the natue of its postulates.  But the Black School
and the White are always more or less in active conflict...."

_Magick Without Tears_, by Aleister Crowley, Ed. I. Regardie; pp. 65-6.
_____________________________________________________________________


In your initial quote I suggest Crowley was speaking as an adept of the
White School, and that what he meant by 'properly understood' may
allude to the 'aloof understanding' of the initiates of the Yellow.
Here is his characterization of his role in these schools:

"The Yellow School... in conjuction with the Secret Chiefs of the
White School in Europe, Chiefs who had been compelled to suspend
all attempts at exoteric enlightenment by the general moral debility
which had overtaken the races from which they drew their adepts,
have prepared a guide for mankind.  This man, of an extreme moral
force and elevation, combined with a profound sense of worldly
realities [Crowley appears here to aggrandize himself], has stood
forth in an attempt to save the White School, to rehabilitate its
formula....

"This prophet of the White School, chosen by its Masters and his
brethren to save the Theory and Practice, is armed... with a new
Magical formula,... which can be accepted by the whole human race.
Its adoption will strengthen the Yellow School by giving a more
positive value in their Theory; while leaving the postulates of
the Black School intact, it will transcend them and raise their
Theory and Practice almost to the level of the Yellow.  As to the
White School, it will remove from them all taint of poison of the
Black, and restore vigour to their central formula of spiritual
alchemy by giving each man an independent ideal."

Ibid, pp. 87-8.
__________________

Crowley makes this essay out as having been written by 'Gerard
Aumont', and yet it is Regardie's supposition that Crowley actually 
wrote it, and I would tend to agree, given the big send-up for
the Law of Thelema and the Prophet/Great Beast.

Perhaps with the above we can come to see that Crowley spoke in
many voices, from many 'Schools', and that after reading all of
his works and seeing them in context, we can begin to comprehend
that Idea which transcends the meager boundaries of 'Black',
'White', and even 'Yellow', when "properly understood". ;>


Love is the law

Haramullah
===

From: cal@hplb.hpl.hp.com (Colin Low)
Subject: Re: Staying out of the Abyss
Date: Thu, 12 May 1994 13:01:12 GMT

Tyagi Mordred Nagasiva (Tyagi@cup.portal.com) wrote:

: Colin reviewed the following document and I respond to his queries:

: ||: _Liber Nigris: The Story of 'Frater Nigris' and 'I am I'_
: ||: By Frater Nigris (Who would know better???)

: [much angst deleted]

I thought I'd already deleted all your angst.

: |I've tried to discover what specific behaviours, techniques or beliefs are 
: |involved in being a black brother. My questions relate to how you are 
: |interpreting these personally.

: Part of my answer comes from how people popularly interpret the path of
: the Black Brother after Crowley portrayed hir life in such extreme fashion.
: Part of it comes from my own interpretation - taking the path and describing
: it rather than describing it from outside and marking its pitfalls.

Having read through your posts I think this sums up your position fairly
well. You have used Crowley as a source for the term "Black Brother" but
you don't concur with the extremity of his views. You have substituted your
own interpretation - this bears out my original claim that you have redefined
the word to suit yourself. You provide no alternative, external source for
the term, and your description of it appears almost entirely in terms of
your own internal states. The exception is your role in the OTO.

My emphasis on the *doing* aspect of being a Black Brother is that if it
is entirely internal to you, and involves no behaviour or belief other than
those which you nominate, then you might as well call yourself the Queen
of Sheba for all the difference it makes to me. If being a Black Brother
is a term you are free to define, and all its attributes are yours to propose
or dispose of, then I don't know how to have a discussion about it. We can
have a monologue (and your response of several hundred lines of pre-prepared
text was the equivalent), but we can't have a discussion.

I appreciate your response. I can see that you have attempted the questions
honestly. I won't respond to most of the answers because there is no response.

: I don't have a vow of Compassion.  I have a vow of Charity, by which I
: am encouraged to 'love Me, adore Me, help Me'.  My vows are statements of
: intent, targets for the aiming.  I cannot put My needs ahead of others for
: the simple reason that there is no 'others' which are different from
: Myself.  I don't make that difference.  "The word of Sin is Restriction."

You have subverted the word "Charity" to your own ends. There is still a
blatant contradiction between serving your own ego as a professed Black Brother
and serving the needs of others, and while you are free to imply that you 
accomplish both, words are extremely cheap, while charity is not. If you are 
known for your externally visible and measurable good works then you have my 
apologies in advance.

: ||: themselves black.  Such is the use of spiritual force to material ends.
: |
: |How are you using your spiritual force for material ends? 

: Those were Crowley's definitions of 'black magic'.  I was quoting them in
: order to make the case of Crowley's extremity when speaking of the 'black'.
: If you would like to know how I enjoy thinking of black magick, then I can
: spam this thread again with an essay by Haramullah. ;>

I don't want any more monologues thank you ;-) The bulk of your thoughts on
many subjects is the conversion and subversion of the vocabulary to suit
your own personal outlook, and while this may be a matter of intense
fascination to you, it isn't to me. We all tend to subvert the language to
our own ends, but unless we are prepared to compromise in discussions and
move some way towards the other person, then there is a standoff.  

: |
: |Is there any experiential basis for this? 

: I've known a few people who presumed there was.  My own experience bears it
: out, especially in the way that I interpret these words.  As I see it,
: Crowley was describing the means of 'Crossing the Abyss', often using the
: tool of the intellect.  This necessitated a drawing away from the emotional
: body (symbolized by giving all the blood of our heart to Babalon).  He saw
: people who took a different route (the emotional) 'disintegrate' despite
: what he called 'aggrandizement through predatory practices'.

: My own experience is that the emotional is but a different tool and leads to
: different places which those who use the intellect might not understand
: (until later in their path).  It involves the exploration and resolution
: of the emottional body (rather than that of the intellectual, though if
: performed correctly this is also resolved, through Love).  

: The way that the popular Euro-American culture views emotions and other
: more bodily things is as demon, antagonist.  Thus the 'demonization' of
: what scholars and devotees would call 'wrathful deities'.  Thus the
: appearance of the Qliphot - earth energies as I understand them - as
: malignant and malevolent.  As I've stated elsewhere, I like to think of
: these as hurt elementals (aspects of our emotional and bodily self).

One thing which has consistently puzzled me is the way in which you
reference your own experience with respect to the Other (Crowley, Euro-
American culture etc) and enter into strong polar relationship with respect
to the Other. The paragraphs above are filled with this-versus-that. Why
should you care what Crowley thought? The disputed territory isn't Alsace-
Lorraine; it's the inside of your head, and you are free to organise the contents 
however you please without reference to anyone. Crowley never consulted me
about the praxis of Abyss-crossing, so I'll be buggered if I'm going to
consult a sociopathic monstrosity like Crowley.

: |
: |Ah! You admit to a specific behaviour associated with being a Black Brother.
: |You are Mr. Awkward in the OTO. 

: Not sure what you mean by 'Mr. Awkward'.  I think there is much more to
: 'exhultation' than typing words on a screen or hollering to the heavens,
: even while certain key timings in this regard could be transformational.

: The exhultation of 'I am I' amounts, in my estimation, to rejecting the
: old standard of the dissolution of the ego, submission to organization
: or majority for want of wisdom, or effacement of the self in order to
: perform some sort of 'discipline'.  For some of us this simply won't work,
: it will debilitate us without having us borne up by the healthy ego-growth
: which occurs for some in their youth.  

: Some of us accept Starhawk's definition of 'pride' as 'joy in
: strength' and rejoice in the power and glory which is our sensate life,
: expanding outward in a sometimes wobbly journey through a Garden of
: emotional dynamism.

The strongest people I've met are the people who aren't afraid to submit
to anything. I understand what you are saying, and if part of your self-
definition involves proclaiming your bloody-mindedness at OTO meetings, it
won't bother me, but don't knock submission until you've tried it.

: Again, if you wish to focus so much on what I *do*, I'd love to respond to
: this with an essay that makes it plain what I think of such things (by
: Haramullah, 'The Lust for Result') or why practice is damn silly (by
: Frater Nigris, '_Liber Practicus: the Sin of Practice_').

: I will not do this, however, unless you specifically request it, since
: you blustered at my answering you with 'purple prose' (what better?!)
: and tsunamis of text (wonderful imagery there).

Blustered? Irritated perhaps at receiving a hundredweight of spagetti
instead of a plateful. 


: |I have been unable to discover how (in your case) being a Black Brother is any
: |different from Being Thyagi. 

: Never has been.  I've been a Black Brother for years.  I've only recently
: been one in society.

And after going three hundred miles around the houses we arrive back at the
place from which we started and know it.....not at all. You are a Black
Brother because you say you are. Likewise you dwell in the abyss. I am
the reincarnation of D. H. Lawrence. Because I say I am. Eheieh asher Ehieih.

Colin