SELF HYPNOSIS LESSON 17
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      INTIMACY

      INTRODUCTORY NOTE

      Achieving and maintaining close personal relationships is an art for
      which some lucky individuals have a native genius. Many people, however,
      find this art harder to master than any other. The impulse to relate is
      often blocked by shyness, pride, or fear of rejection. Resisting the need
      to relate creates a viscous cycle, because the longer the need is
      suppressed, the more the ability to relate atrophies. One way to begin
      revitalizing it is to "practice" a sense of intimacy with inanimate
      objects.

      AN EXAMPLE

      Such an interaction is described in Jan de Hartog's novel 'The Captain,' 
      the story of a Dutch tugboat captain and his ship.
      World War II has catapulted the inexperienced young tugboat master into
      the position of Commodore of the Dutch tugboat fleet. Used to the lonely
      life of a relief captain without a ship to call his own, he has developed
      a protective layer of detachment. Now, suddenly, he finds himself
      permanent master of the flagship 'Isabel Kwel'. After the baptism of fire
      of their first enemy engagement he awakens to a new and precious reality
      - the close personal tie between the captain and his ship:
      "I...had finally entered into that most ancient, mystical relationship
      between man and matter: the comradeship between a sailor and his ship. I
      was at last...imbuing a piece of man-made machinery with a personality of
      its own, linked to it by a bond of loyalty and devotion, an umbilical
      cord of love...Innocently, I put my hand on the wall beside my bunk,
      for the first time knowingly touching my ship in a gesture of intimacy.
      I looked at that wall, then at the ceiling, the door, the portholes
      while, within me, a new and unknown tenderness hesitantly reached out
      toward them, the intimate details of the sensuous body of the 'Isabel
      Kwel'...I reveled in that new and unknown sense of security which the
      very touch of her gave me." 

      PREPARATION

      Make yourself comfortable and close your eyes. Visualize a calm sea under
      a sunny, a blue sky, and yourself on a ship, almost suspended in the
      expanse of sky and water.

      See yourself looking over the railing of this ship - your ship - and
      follow the movement of the waves from crest to trough, one following the
      other in unbroken succession, while you relax muscle after muscle in a
      similar fluid movement.

      Now single out one particular wave to follow behind your closed lids.
      Tell yourself that when you have traced its path through ten successions
      of crest and trough you will be in a very deep state of altered
      consciousness, much deeper than you are now.

      THE EXERCISE

      Now put yourself into the young captain's place. The ship you are
      standing on is your very own ship. Feel the smooth grain of the wooden
      railing under your hand, the planks of the deck under your feet as you
      walk toward your cabin.

      Open the door - feel the door knob - enter the cabin, and lie down on the
      bunk. Touch the wall alongside the bunk, and compare the grainy texture
      of the wall with the smooth texture of the railing. Listen to the
      comforting rhythm of the creaks of this bulky, seaworthy, trustworthy
      ship...and feel, as intensely as you can, the emotions which the ship
      aroused in the young captain.

      When you have experienced these sensations as vividly as you can, tell
      yourself that you will now count from one to five. On reaching five, you
      will have fully assumed your own identity again, while still remaining in
      your deeply altered state of consciousness.

      Leave the captain's ship now, and structure a background more in keeping
      with your own life situation. Take your new ability to relate to
      inanimate objects with you, and introduce it into the new environment.
      Enhance it by as many details as your imagination can conjure up,
      gradually adding plants, flowers, and an imaginary pet to the inanimate
      objects.

      When you are ready to conclude the exercise, tell yourself that you will
      count slowly from one to three and open your eyes. As you open them, you
      will be back in your usual reality state, feeling very relaxed and at
      ease, knowing that you have taken a long step on the road toward
      intimacy, and that this road will become easier and easier to find every
      time you practice the art of intimacy.