Date: Tue, 11 Dec 90 19:43:34 EST
From: kjc@cs.rutgers.edu
To: elbows@ghoti.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: christ on a bicycle


the gentleman now known as Jesus Christ appeared during a time of
magicians.  his water to wine, summon the fish, walk on water was all
old hat to the people of the time period.  his important *difference*
was he was aiming these things toward the common people.  one thing
that was common to most religions at the time was they were for the
learned ONLY.  they were directed at those who were educated, who
spoke and wrote in greek & latin.  their religions were filled with
"mysteries" of rites & such that were intensely private.  then came
this silly guy calling himself the son of the one true god (who had
been, up until this time, the vindictive little bastard from the
desert) ... he was controversial in the Jewish community, because they
were looking for God to send them a warlord to battle against the
Romans and thus free them from Roman Oppression (which of course
included paved roads, irrigations, running water, and all those
oppressively societal things;  of course, with these priveleges came
the forced acceptance of Roman law, which generally made it all hard
to swallow) ... when Jesus showed up & started preaching peace, he was
largely rejected by the Jewish community.  especially when he preached
to *everyone* who was down trodden & not just the Jews (who werent the
only down trodden folks of the time).

anyway, his followers were making a bit too much noise and people (the
priveleged, largely) started getting uptight ... they entreated the
leader of the area, lately of Rome, to do something & the man washed
his hands of the whole business, because he didnt want to rile up the
people and he generally had no quarrel with the man in question ... so
things got out of hand & Jesus got stuck on a cross (or he slipped and
fell in the bathtub ... we're still not sure) ...

things started getting a bit weird when he came back from the dead.

it wasnt until Paul got rather militant & made the religion Jesus had
started rather widespread, that things got intense.  it was the first
religion of the people, for that time.  you didnt have to be able to
read or write or perform any rituals or do painful things to yourself.
you simply had to believe in God & you'd go to heaven.  easy, no?
Paul made it easier.  he and the apostles brought the religion to
everyone, preached it to the common people, and watched the results
take root ...

but, unfortunately for the world at large, Paul was an asshole.  it
was he who turned Christianity into a misogynist mishmash of
silliness.  he started up the whole Virgin Mary business.  the fact
that Mary probably had several children after Jesus was suppressed.
the books of Mary Magdelene, suppressed.  the *important* role of
women in Jesus' life was undermined by the touted importance of the
Apostles (who, btw, thought that the second coming was going to be
DURING their lifetimes) ... he was also responsible for a variety of
other nasty things that have since become the foundation of
Catholicism. 

Paul probably thought that Eve was made from a rib of Adam. silly sod.

(another one of those huge gaffs the translators periodically make.
the word that was translated as "rib" really means "side", the idea
being that God created one being & split them into Adam & Eve, making
them each one half of a whole;  when you look at it this way, Eve was
not some small part of Adam - they were equals)

*sigh*

just as a side note, i learned most of this in a course called
Witchcraft and Magic.  some of it i picked up from a Catholic
background.  the rest was gleaned from intelligent conversations with
scholars of various religions.  personally, i was raised Catholic on
Xmas & Easter & the rest of the time, left to my own devices.  I have
since developed my own ideas ... none of them include that pompous
putz the Pope.

-------------------------
Kelly J. Cooper
Tragically Hip Waif
...individual at large...
-------------------------