LOVE LOVE1.TXT *********************************************************************** WHAT IS LOVE ? HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU LOVE REALLY LOVE SOMEONE, ARE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE, OR TELL WHEN SOMEONE REALLY LOVES YOU? IT IS LIKELY MORE WORDS HAVE BEEN WRITTEN ABOUT LOVE THAN ON ANY OTHER SUBJECT, FOR LOVE IS THE PRIME HUMAN NEED AFTER OUR BASIC SURVIVAL NEEDS ARE MET. SO MANY HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT LOVE AND IN TRUTH KNOW LITTLE OF IT. LOVE IS A ONE DIRECTION AFFAIR. IT DOES NOT DEPEND ON THE OTHER LOVING YOU OR RETURNING YOUR LOVE. THE BEST SIMPLE DEFINITION I HAVE HEARD THAT APPEARS TO HAVE SOME TRUTH IN IT IS, "LOVE IS WHEN SOME ONE'S HAPPINESS IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN YOUR OWN HAPPINESS." I HAVE MET VERY FEW WHO APPEAR TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS, WHO ACTUALLY LOVE ANOTHER PERSON, WHO GIVE LOVE TO ANOTHER PERSON. THEY THINK THEY LOVE ANOTHER, ARE IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER, BUT THEY ARE DELUDING THEMSELVES. THEY ARE TOO SELF-CENTERED AND SELFISH TO LOVE ANOTHER OR REALLY BE IN LOVE. THEY ARE CONCERNED PRIMARILY WITH THEMSELVES, THEIR HAPPINESS, THEIR PLEASURE, THEIR WELL BEING, THEIR COMFORT, DOING WHAT THEY WANT TO DO AND WHAT OTHERS THINK OF THEM. THEY THINK THEY LOVE, ARE IN LOVE, ARE LOVING, BUT THIS IS AN ILLUSION THEY CREATE IN THEMSELVES. AS YOU READ THIS, YOU LIKELY WILL THINK, BUT...BUT.. BUT.... WELL WHAT I SHARE HERE IS SOMETHING THAT IS WORTHWHILE TO THINK ABOUT. WHETHER YOU BELIEVE THE ABOVE STATEMENTS OR NOT. HOW CAN YOU GIVE TO ANOTHER THAT WHICH YOU DO NOT HAVE ? IF YOU DO NOT LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF AS YOU ARE, HOW CAN YOU LOVE AND FULLY ACCEPT ANOTHER ? GO INSIDE YOURSELF, DEEP INSIDE AND EVALUATE YOUR PAST AND CURRENT THOUGHTS, ACTIONS, AND BELIEFS. WHEN YOU SEE WHO YOU ARE INSIDE MORE CLEARLY, WHERE YOU ARE ACTUALLY AT WITH THINGS INSIDE, THEN YOU CAN LEARN TO LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF AS YOU REALLY ARE, THEN YOU WILL BE ABLE TO REALLY LOVE ANOTHER. WHEN YOU LOVE REALLY LOVE SOMEONE YOU WANT TO BE NEAR OR WITH THE PERSON AS MUCH AS IS POSSIBLE. YOU THINK ABOUT THEM OFTEN EACH AND EVERY DAY. SEEING, HEARING, TOUCHING, SMELLING, AND TASTING THE PERSON BRINGS YOU JOY AND PLEASURE. AND YOU WANT TO HAVE PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. YOU THINK OFTEN, "WHAT CAN I DO TO BRING HER/HIM HAPPINESS AND JOY. WHAT CAN I DO TO BRING THEM PLEASURE, MAKE THEIR LIFE MORE COMFORTABLE AND EASIER." THEIR EVERYDAY HAPPINESS IS A PRIME PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE. WHEN THEY ARE NOT HAPPY YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. WHEN THEY ARE SAD YOU ARE SAD. WHAT MOST ARE CALLING LOVE IS VERY VERY CONDITIONAL... ITS ACTUALLY BUSINESS.. I WILL LOVE YOU IF..... IF YOU DO THIS AND THAT, IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS OR THAT.. IF YOU ACT LIKE THIS AND DO NOT ACT LIKE THAT..... IF YOU LOOK LIKE THIS AND THAT.... ARE THIS AGE AND NOT THAT AGE... AND ON AND ON.............. THAT IS NOT HOW LOVE IS ! LOVE IS FULLY ACCEPTING THE OTHER AS SHE/HE IS RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT. LOVE IS ACCEPTING THE OTHER'S ACTIONS WITHOUT COMPARISONS, JUDGMENTS AND OR DESIRES THAT THE OTHER BE DIFFERENT THAN WHO SHE/HE IS RIGHT THIS MOMENT. LOVE IS DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO PLEASE THE OTHER, HELP THEM TO BE HAPPY, ASSIST IN THEIR GROWTH AND TAKING CARE OF THE THEM IN ANY AND ALL THE WAYS YOU CAN. IF YOU REALLY LOVE THE OTHER, YOU WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE JEALOUSY, YOU WILL NEED NO COMMITMENTS FROM THEM AND YOU WILL PLACE NO CONDITIONS ON THEM. --g. das ----------------------------------------------------------------------- THE MASTER SAID: LOVE IS NOT AN ACT, IT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU DO. NO "DOING" IS INVOLVED IN LOVE. IT IS A STATE OF BEING. IF YOU ARE IN LOVE, THIS IS A STATE OF MIND, A STATE OF BEING. THIS STATE OF MIND MAY BE FOCUSED ON SOMEONE OR IT MAYBE BE UN-FOCUSED -- ON THE WHOLE. NO ONE CAN "DO" ANYTHING CONTINUOUSLY 24 HOURS. IF YOU ARE "DOING" LOVE, THEN OF COURSE, YOU CAN NOT DO IT FOR 24 HOURS. WITH ANY ACT YOU WILL GET TIRED; WITH ANY ACT YOU WILL HAVE TO RELAX INTO HATE, BECAUSE YOU CAN RELAX ONLY INTO THE OPPOSITE. THAT IS WHY OUR LOVE GOES ON ALWAYS MIXED WITH HATRED. YOU LOVE THIS MOMENT AND THE NEXT MOMENT YOU HATE THE SAME PERSON. THE SAME PERSON BECOMES THE OBJECT OF BOTH LOVE AND HATE; THAT IS THE CONFLICT OF LOVERS. BECAUSE YOUR LOVE IS AN ACT, THAT IS WHY THERE IS MISERY. WHEN YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE, YOU ARE LESS AFRAID. LOVE GIVES YOU THE FEELING OF BEING NEEDED. THE MASTER SAID: "IF A RELATIONSHIP IS GROWING TOWARD DEPTH", BHAGWAN TOLD MIRA AND SHIVA, WHEN THEY SAT BEFORE HIM AT DARSHAN, THEN IT'S PERFECTLY GOOD. BUT IF IT'S NOT GROWING, NOT DEEPENING, IF INTIMACY ISN'T FLOWERING AND YOU'RE SIMPLY STUCK IN THE RELATIONSHIP, BECAUSE YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SAY GOODBYE, THEN YOU'RE DESTROYING YOUR CAPACITY TO LOVE. IT'S BETTER TO CHANGE PARTNERS THAN TO DESTROY LOVE, BECAUSE LOVE IS THE GOAL NOT THE PARTNER..... IF LOVE ISN'T HAPPENING WITH ONE PERSON, THEN LET IT HAPPEN WITH SOMEONE ELSE. BUT LET IT HAPPEN ! BE TRUE TO LOVE; NEVER BETRAY LOVE. IF LOVE ISN'T HAPPENING, BE COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO SAY GOODBYE. I CALL A RELATIONSHIP PATHOLOGICAL, WHEN YOU'RE CLINGING ONLY FOR CLINGING'S SAKE. YOU CLING BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF THE NEW, THE UNKNOWN. THE MORE YOU CLING, THE MORE THE RELATIONSHIP BECOMES UGLY. IT LOSES ALL JOY, LOSES ALL CHARM, LOSES ALL MAGNETISM. IT BECOMES ILL, PATHOLOGICAL. BE TRUE TO LOVE. IF YOU MISS LOVE, YOU MISS THE POSSIBILITY OF PRAYER TOO, BECAUSE ONLY WHEN LOVE BECOMES DEEP, DOES IT BRING YOU CLOSE TO PRAYER. SO IF LOVE IS HAPPENING, THEN STAY TOGETHER. IF IT'S NOT HAPPENING, THEN GIVE EACH OTHER THE CHANCE, TO FIND LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE....... SEX IS POSSIBLE FOR EVERYONE. FOR SEX DOES NOT REQUIRE A TOTAL OPENING OF THE HEART, DOES NOT REQUIRE YOU SURRENDER TOTALLY TO THE OTHER. SEX WITHOUT LOVE CAN BE PLEASURABLE, RELIEVE INNER TENSIONS AND CAN BRING A BRIEF INNER PEACE. BUT SEX WITHOUT LOVE IS NOT TRUE INTIMACY, AND CAN NOT ACCOMPLISH THE UNION OF BODY, MIND AND SOUL THAT IS POSSIBLE FOR A MAN AND WOMAN TO HAVE. AND ALL MEN AND WOMEN HAVE THE DESIRE AND NEED FOR THIS UNION DEEP INSIDE. LOVE IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR EVERYONE, AS IT REQUIRES A PERSON TO OPEN THEIR HEART FULLY TO THE OTHER. IT REQUIRES A PERSON TO SURRENDER THEMSELVES TO THE OTHER. IT REQUIRES A PERSON TO ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE VULNERABLE, FULLY VULNERABLE. AND BEING VULNERABLE IS FRIGHTENING. --SPOKEN BY THE MASTER FROM POONA AT HIS ASHRAM IN INDIA TO A YOUNG AMERICAN COUPLE LIVING AT THE ASHRAM AND TAKING PART IN THE SPIRITUAL PRACTICES AND GROUP GROWTH ACTIVITIES THERE. THEY HAD ASKED OF HIM ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND ITS DIFFICULTIES. --------------------------------------------------------------------- ONE OF THE MASTER'S TEACHERS SAID: "A MAN/WOMAN RELATIONSHIP IS COMPLETE", AMITABN TOLD THEM THE NEXT DAY, "WHEN THERE ARE 3 DISTINCT ASPECTS TO IT; WHEN THE MAN CAN BE A FATHER TO THE WOMAN, THE WOMAN CAN BE A MOTHER TO THE MAN AND THEY CAN BE LOVERS, EQUALS, FRIENDS." --SPOKEN BY ONE OF THE TEACHERS AT THE MASTER'S ASHRAM IN POONA INDIA AT A COUPLES GROUP WORKSHOP. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- DAS SAID: "IF YOU GET BLISSFUL, WHEN YOU ARE ENTERED AND, FILLED BY AN OPPOSITE SEX PERSON'S ENERGY, KNOW THIS IS ONE WITH WHOM, YOU CAN EXPERIENCE REAL LOVE WITH, EXPERIENCE TOTAL UNION WITH AND GROW TOWARD YOUR FULL POTENTIALS. BUT DISCERNMENT IS NECESSARY, TO INSURE THIS IS NOT, JUST SEXUAL DESIRE/CHEMISTRY, WHICH IS SELDOM LONG LASTING. ONCE YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED A TOTAL UNION WITH A LOVER YOU WILL BE CHANGED, AND HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE. YOU WILL HAVE HAD A DIRECT EXPERIENCE OF WHAT IS POSSIBLE BETWEEN A MAN AND WOMAN. YOU WILL NO LONGER BE SATISFIED BY A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS LESS THAN YOU DESERVE AND ALL PEOPLE DESERVE THE BEST POSSIBLE PARTNER THEY CAN HAVE. LOVE IS ! --SPOKEN BY das AFTER LONG CONTEMPLATION OF THE PREVIOUS STATEMENTS. -------------------------------------------------------------------- written and compiled by g. das