[Here begins excerpt from 
                  Diary entry of 21 February, 1983 e.v.] 

    Went back to bed after last entry (I am fighting off a cold) & spent 
much time thinking about my letter to Frater ___. As I lay between sleep & 
mundane reality, I began to feel a presence of power flow about me like a 
warm & welcome shroud.  I was very aware of a nostalgic longing for the 
mystical reality in which there is no seperation between myself & the rest 
of the Universe. 

    I invoked the god-form of PAN(NH) as used by me during my second 
successful practice of Liber Astarte.  PAN(NH) is the ultimate vessel of 
the Universe.  S/He contains the body of Nuit within H-is/er round belly.  
My merge with the godform was not complete, but it did give me a 
perspective from which to view the Universe. 

    I saw the body of NUIT from the outside.  Within the continuous arch 
of her body was the absolute void of which interstellar space is but the 
palest shadow.  But the void was not empty, for it contained the myriad 
twinkles of the sisterhood of Stars.  [I realize as I write this that a 
void which is not empty is contradictory in this mundane reality of 
Malkuth, but from the viewpoint of my vision, there was no contradiction.] 
I was reminded of Crowley's Star Sponge vision & briefly wished he were 
with me in the flesh so that we could compare & contrast our individual 
perspectives. 

    In the center of the Void was a gigantic Star which appeared to be the 
pivot point of the Universe.  I knew instictively that it was the 
fountainhead of the Order which lies beyond Da„th. As I watched, the 
Star went Nova & spewed its star-stuff throughout the Multiverse.  It 
was as if the Hadit point of the Order had experienced the ultimate orgasm 
which destroyed its individuality completely.  The star-stuff expanded 
outward to embrace the Universe & to Unite with the body of NUIT.  As each 
of the little stars passed through the cloud of star-stuff, it absorbed as 
much of it as it was able.  As each of the stars absorbed the ejaculation 
from the Hadit-point, it became self-aware. 

NOTE: [Before I get too much further in this little account of my vision, 
I should point out that all that I write is allegory and analogy.  What I 
`saw' took place in a realm which is beyond time & space and is therefore 
very difficult to speak of directly using the mundane languages of this 
planet which were designed to speak of sensory reality.  When I speak of 
stars or planets or comets, I should not be construed to be speaking of 
astronomical reality.  I simply utilize what images I can to convey a 
certain `feeling' for what I perceived.  I do not wish to quibble over 
linear details of my words, for my words are not my vision.] 

    I saw that each of the stars were alive & that each moved independ-
ently of the others, yet in their motion was harmony.  Because of the 
infussion of the jism from the Haditpoint, each believed itself to be the 
center of the Universe.  Each star was correct, yet each was also in error 
-- for each Star is indeed the center of its own Universe, but insofar as 
each Star is unable to perceive other Stars as also being the center of 
the Universe, it is also in error.  For the Stars themselves are not 
stationary centers, but in constant motion.  The dynamic pattern formed 
from the interaction of all the Stars in the Universe is the true center 
of the Body of NUIT. 

    I saw that the stars were not equal in their self-awareness, nor were 
they equal in their ability to perceive their place within the pattern of 
the whole.  All contained the seed of initiation from the Hadit-point, yet 
most seemed uninterested in nurturing the growth of this seed. 

   From my perspective, I saw that the dance of the Stars was an 
initiatory pattern which nurtured that aspect of the essence of the 
Fountainhead of the Order which exists within each of the Stars. 

   But I also saw all dances as transitory.  Each dance of interaction was 
capable of initiation, yet no one dance could fully embrace the totality 
of the Universal experience.  I saw/perceived many intertwining themes 
repeat themselves endlessly as the spiral dances of the Stars sought to 
reify the Fountainhead of the Order within the personal experience of each 
& every individual Star.  

    But as I looked closer & closer I saw that the Stars were not alone in 
the Universe.  Most stars had one or more dark companions, whose Will was 
to follow an intricate orbit about the parent Star.  Such dark companions 
sometimes impeded the orbital dance of the parent stars, for their dance 
was not yet graceful enough to fully compliment the dance of the stars.  
It was in those stystems where the orbits of the planets were freeest that 
the stars were least impeded. 

   When a parent star grew old & finally went nova, it would spew out its 
star-stuff to those in orbit around it in a microcosmic reenactment of 
the primal orgasm.  Some of the dark planets would then become stars on 
their own, while others would choose another star to follow.  I also saw 
certain comets which were attached but loosly to a particular star; they 
spent much of their time in a complex orbit among various stars in the 
same neighborhood.  

   But here my attempts to communicate this vision begin to break down, 
for most of these comets were also stars in their own right, whose dance 
took them through the orbital plane of several other stars. 

   When these comets were in close proximity to another star, they shone 
as brightly as the brighest of them, but when they were far from any of 
their companion stars, they took on the appearance of the coldest planet.  

   Perhaps in this phase they might be likened to the Hermits spoken of in 
Liber AL vel Legis. It seemed to be the purpose of these wandering 
stars to disrupt the orbital patterns of those overly inert planets who 
seem to hinder the dance of the stars.  

   From where I stood, it seemed to me that those steller systems which 
were visited most frequently by the cometary wanderers were the systems 
with the highest concentration of the life essence from the primal orgasm.  
In some way which I cannot put into words, these wandering stars 
regenerated the stable stars so that they could keep up the pace of their 
intricate dance for far longer before they would grow old & go nova. 

   These wandering stars had no planets of their own (nor did they desire 
any), but they did travel in the company of other wandering stars, which 
were neither stars nor planets in any conventional sense of the word.  It 
is the function of these wandering stars to induce planets into Starhood 
by unconventional methods. 

    My perspective shifted once again & I was able to see that each & 
every star, planet & comet was involved in a complex dance within the body 
of NUIT.  The center of the circle is nowhere found, yet it could easily 
be deduced from the intricate dance of Universal Will.  

   Each dancer is aware of the pattern insofar as s/he is in tune with the 
dance.  When the dancer becomes the pattern, s/he is in tune with the 
Dance.  When the dancer becomes the pattern, s/he becomes the embodiment 
of the Hadit-point of the Universe & becomes a direct link to the 
Fountainhead of the Order for those who have lost their step in the dance.  

   But the dance of each dancer is unique.  

   One may follow a particular dancer for a while to atune oneself with 
the dance, but as one becomes atuned with the dance, one ceases to follow 
any particular dancer, for each dancer must learn to follow the pattern 
composed of all the dancers, rather than any particular dancer (no matter 
how skilled any particular dancer may be). 

   Once a dancer is able to discern the overall pattern, and is able to 
follow it, it then becomes his/her duty to assist in its on-going 
evolution, rather than simply following it by rote. 

   Each star, planet & comet contains a unique blend of the essence from 
the primal orgasm & therefore each dance is a uniquely valid expression 
of the Pattern which re-creates the fountainhead of the Order within each 
dancer, each according to h-is/er ability to receive, perceive & create 
the Pattern within as well as without the individual. 

    My perspective shifted back into the dance itself.  As I fell back 
into my body I came to a realization that I am indeed one of the wan- 
dering stars.  I follow the dance insofar as I am able & I follow the 
dancers whenever I lose my step.  I shine when I am in the company of 
those who shine & I keep my light well hidden (sometimes even from 
myself!) when I am amidst the company of those who are not yet aware that 
they are stars. 


                                   * * * 


                  [Here begins the excerpt from my Diary 
                     entry of 22 February, 1983 e.v.] 

   Very very strange dreams last night.  While they were in progress, I 
felt like I was in a terrifying nightmare, but once I awoke, I was able to 
see that my dreams were simply a very intense learning experience.  I 
spent about an hour after I awoke in revery & dream reconstruction.  
Very useful techniques for getting through the Malkuth overlays of really 
intense dreams.  I shall reconstruct the dreams as best as I can while 
feeling free to cut thru the maya of the dream images where possible to 
reveal glimpses of the fabric of the experience insofar as I am able. 

Note: sometime during sleep my dream crystal migrated from my left hand to 
under my body.  When I awoke from the dream, my crystal was wedged firmly 
into the base of my spine causing mild displeasure, but very intense 
kundalini activity throughout the lower chakras (from solar plexus on 
down).  My body was filled with adrenalin (flight rather than fight) & I 
was covered in a cold sweat, which I worked to absorb back into my body 
during my dream reconstruction/revery & then cleansed off that which I was 
unable to re-absorb with a post-revery bath/shower. 

   As usual, I had projected into sleep via VIIIø orgasm.  I was wandering 
amidst the theater district in Astral NYC & I came upon a used bookshop.  
Anne was with me during this first segment of the dream.  As we went into 
the shop, we saw some members of the Tibetan Secret Police capture a 
political refugee & haul him off to be crucified.  I was slightly puzzled 
because I had not realized that crucifiction was commonly used for 
political activists in Tibet. 

   Once in the store I located a four volume set of books which would 
answer all my questions about Tibet & crucifiction.  I cannot remember the 
title of the set, but it seemed to be some sort of magical encyclopedea 
which could answer all questions.  At first the type in the book was 
totally incomprehensible, but as I stared at the page, I began to make 
out many variations on the verb to crucify.  I began to read the text 
aloud (it seemed to be in some sort of barbarous tongue with some latin 
marginalia) and... 

    The bookstore vanished & along with it vanished Anne & all memories of 
anything outside of the reality in which I had found myself.  I was in a 
very old house which was decaying around me.  Each time I looked into a 
mirror, I would see myself looking older & more decayed. I knew that I was 
not aging or rotting, but that the mirrors were somehow causing this 
illussion (very much like one of the scenes in the movie Poltergeist). 

   As I began to look more deeply into the mirror, I saw another being 
revealed in its depths.  He (it was definitely a he) was wrapping my 
reflection in old white cotton & mouldy cowbwebs.  As he wrapped me up, he 
mumbled a chant of illussion, fascination, and death. 

   He had three sisters, each of whom had long since died, but yet who 
lived on in the mirror.  He had wrapped them up long years before.  When 
he saw that I could see him, he smiled & drew his oldest sister in front 
of my reflection, so that I would have to look through her in order to see 
my own reflection.  As I looked I became terrified for my mortal self.  
The corpse flesh dropped loosly from her face & a worm was crawling out of 
her half-eaten eye.  As she smiled & beckoned to me, maggots and 
cockaroaches fell from her mouth.  I was totally repulsed & tried to run, 
but instead I fell through the mirror. 


    Again no memory of anything which had transpired previously in the 
dream or in any other reality. 

   I had been captured by a band of young thugs in their teens & early 
twenties.  Some of them looked punk while others looked like 1950's street 
hoods. 

   One of them would torture me lightly & then promise even more tortures, 
describing them in detail.  I would go all to pieces & become a sobbing 
hulk lieing in the fetal position at his feet.  I was terrified of him.  
This seemed to please him, so I acted more & more terrified of him, 
even when I was not very fearful, for by pleasing him, he would not 
torture me directly. 

   At one point in the dream he had me totally hysterical & he was so 
overcome with his own power that he took down his pants & fucked the fold 
in my leg behind my knee.  His semen spread all over me & I remembered who 
I was & that this was but a dream. 

   I was about to act when I heard a little voice within me to accept the 
gift of semen & to use it to follow this man back to where he had come 
from. 
   I awoke in my bed with my heart beating very fast.  I was terrified.  
After much meditation & calming myself down I remembered all of the 
dream & went back into it as an observer looking for clues, using my dream 
crystal annointed with the cold sweat from my body as a focus. 

   The four books are a key.  I believe that they are written in Enochian, 
but that they are also blank.  That is to say, the four books correspond 
to the four Enochain elemental realities, but that they contain invoka- 
tions &/or evokations which we write into them via our unexpressed needs 
for balance.  When I looked into the book, I was looking for information 
about political martyrdom, ascent of the Tree via the pillar of Severity & 
the symbols of Tiphareth.  Within the mirror were the three Fates & their 
brother (about whom not very much is recorded).  The sister who had 
terrified me so much was Atropos, the inescapable one, whose magickal 
weapon is the scissors for she breaks the thread of life.  Here was my 
link to my former master! 

   I return to the mirror.  My brother is nowhere to be seen.  My other 
two sisters are very prominant in their roles of weaving & spinning the 
thread of my life about the image of myself which dwells in the mirror.  I 
see them clearly and know them to be called (in English) Destiny & Chance.  
My third sister once again dances between my image & myself, thus severing 
the thread woven by Clotho & Lachesis. 

   I step foward & embrace Atropos.  In so doing, I reach behind her & 
touch the end of the thread she has broken.  As I merge with the thread, 
Atropos becomes younger & younger.  She is still a corpse, but a very 
sexually arrousing corpse.  The maggots have made her cunt all sweet & 
runny & the worms have loosened up her ass for my cock.  As we couple, we 
dance & my brother (now visible) does weave a spell around us both. 

   I am now on board the plane with my former Master.  He does not know 
me, for I am wearing the body of a woman.  The plane explodes & I leave 
the plane to follow the scent of he whom I follow. 

   I am back in the bookshop in Astral NYC.  I recognize the shopkeeper as 
Chozar, the Atlantean mage from the Age of Lizzard-men who became the 
prototype for Choronzon.  He smiles at me in greeting.  I am holding one 
of the four volumes of The Book of Universal Dance. 
   The volume I hold is bound in black leather & has a rose incised on the 
front cover.  The leather rose has thorns of stainless steel.  One of the 
thorns has pricked my finger & the book is now smeared with my blood. 

   I know I am on the Astral Plane.  Therefore this text has taken on the 
attributes of Yesod.  This text is the text of Knowledge, which relates to 
Swords, but here in Yesod, swords relate most easily to Cruelty & Despair 
through the influences of Mars in Gemini. 

   I put down the book, for I know that it is not for me to attain this 
book from this Place.  Were I in Tiphaereth, this book would be a real 
prize, but from here, it is a bit too `interesting' (as in the old Chinese 
curse "May you lead an interesting life") for my present stage of 
development.  Perhaps one day, but certainly not now... and I especially 
have no desire to take a book such as this back with me to Malkuth!  



   I enter the sleaziest men's room I can find & wipe the crud from the 
mirror.  My sisters welcome me as I gain entrance to their world with the 
blood from my finger.  Beyond the mirror, I have no reflection.  Thus 
there are no weavings of the fates to bind me nor to cut me off from my 
task.  I refresh myself at the Fountainhead & return to my body which sits 
before the computer keyboard.  Here ends this dream research for today. 



                                   * * * 

   
   
   
                  [Here begins the excerpt from my Diary 
                      entry dated 3 March, 1983 e.v.] 

   Only fragments of dream memories.  The one part which sticks in my mind 
had to do with a written `test' I was taking in which I had to evaluate 
both my strong points & my flaws.  As I wrote, I saw that my flaws & my 
strong points were one & the same. It is all a matter of how I am able to 
use them. 

   The dream also began a series of adventures with a woman whom I met in 
the dream.  She was so different from me that I had a very difficult 
time suspending judgement long enough to learn from her.  It was 
difficult, but very instructive.  

   There was also a retromingence in Time in which the TV stars of M*A*S*H 
were re-assigned to World War II, once they had completed their task of 
humanizing the Korean War. {I was told by my mother that the final episode 
of the M*A*S*H TV series was aired this past Monday evening after running 
for 11 years -- I suspect there is a lot of strong feelings for this show 
on the astral at this time}. 

               [editor's note: frater PVN has not watched tv 
                on a regular basis since the summer of 1963 
                   -- hence the rather oblique reference 
                     to the final episode of M*A*S*H.] 



   Somehow the Kundalini Serpent within each Adept must be induced to bend 
back upon itself in order that the AL-Chemyst will gain the ability to re-
vivify the past without being compelled to relive the errors of the Past.  

   As A.O. Spare and Kenneth Grant point out, nostalgia is a key -- 
nostalgia for that which has not yet come to pass.  Thanks to the re- 
searchers in the field of Quantum Chromodynamics, it is now possible to 
deduce, explore & mathematically map such a multi-Dimensioned Kundalini 
Serpent. 
    
   The OroborO serpent can be seen as far more than a simple concept which 
aspires to becoming a closed circle through the swallowing of its own 
tail.  This representation of the Fire Serpent can also be viewed as an 
infinite regression of spirals which continualy fold back on themselves by 
traversing Time in both directions (Future to Past as well as Past to 
Future). 

   The OroborO Serpent is the summation of these recursive spirals over 
all Time & all Space.  Each seperate unit within this complex series of 
spirals is able to act either independently &/or as a cohesive part of the 
Macrocosmic Risen Kundalini even though the microcosmic units of this 
Grand spiral are seperated by Time &/or Space. 

   The Serpent constantly overlaps its own coils, refining its essence 
through self digestion & through a formula which is not unlike that of the 
Phoenix. 

   With these ideas in mind (but not yet worked out in an articulate 
manner), I performed my morning VIIIø.  In the post-orgasmic swirl, I 
managed to latch onto a concrete dream object.  It was a book.  

   The book intrigued me for it contained that which I perceive as a non-
atomic quantum discontinuity within the fabric of Space/Time (i.e., a 
total non-linear discontinuity which existed upon a Macrocosmic scale 
rather than upon a sub-atomic scale). 

   While the book seemed to be real in-&- of-itself, I was also able to 
perceive it as an allegorical representation of a Truth which I was not 
able to apprehend directly in its pristine simplicity. 

   As I looked more deeply into the book, I saw that it was written in two 
very different kinds of language (far different from each other than any 
two human scripts).  Although I had never seen either script before & was 
unable to translate either of them (in the usual sense of the meaning of 
translate), I was able to intuit much from what I was able to see during 
my brief glimpse of the book. 

   The title of the book is the Book of Oblivion {I have a feeling that 
Oblivion is a person (or perhaps an Office) as well as a state of being 
aspired to by those who tire of the Wheel}.  

   The first portion of the text was written in a cursive script as might 
be designed by an organic creature & reproduced mechanically via a 
typrwriter of some sort.  As I stared at various pages of the book, I 
somehow knew that It was an ongoing magickal diary interspersed with a 
series of guidelines for aspirants. The writer of the text was an advanced 
adept. 

   Near the end of the first portion, the `tone' of the writing became 
hesitant, apparently because the great adept became aware that all of 
his(her?) initiations were but the faintest shadow of true Initiation.  
Then came the quantum leap. 

   The text changed from an organically derived cursive to a series of 
non-Euclidean alien symbols which intertwined over themselves all over 
the page in a decidely disquieting non-linear fashion.  

   The only way I am able to describe the text is to say that it looked 
vaugely mathematical, yet alive in a non-organic sort of way.  It `sort 
of' moved (without moving) in a way which I found profoundly disturbing.  
I have seen texts which exhibited this kind of `motion' at other `places' 
(away from Malkuth), yet I have no conscious recollection of seeing any 
quite like this one. 

    I am amazed that I was able to glean as much from this book as I did, 
for I only glimpsed it for an instant as I fell back into my body after 
the not-very-exciting orgasm. 




                                   * * * 




                  [Here begins M.R.  entry dated SUNDAY, 
                     the 6th Day of MARCH, 1983 e.v.] 

   Took Shroom Tea on Friday night with Anne.  I was pleasantly suprised 
at how nice it was.  Lately (i.e., over the past year or so), the 
intensity of a lot of my Shroom experiences has been less than pleasant.  
I seem to be becoming more in line with my Will & I seem to be able to 
allocate my time such that my Magick & my Malkuth are both being worked on 
together, rather than one being at the expense of the other. 

   Other aspects of myself (from other Times &/or from other Dimensions) 
were with me during various phases of the trip.  No full manifestations of 
other entities, but lots of activity just beneath the surface.  I saw lots 
of activity within Anne, but every time I worked to help bring it to the 
surface, she lost Trust in herself (&/or the experience) and her ego mask 
went rigid over the Window of her face so I could no longer see beyond 
Anne.  I suspect that if we had both been tripping harder, perhaps I would 
have been able to get through.  


   I think I was somewhat hampered by `Lust of Result' in that I was 
trying too hard for a full-blown manifestation of Higher Consciousness.  
Ever since the UT manifestation, I have sought to be a `midwife' to assist 
such experiences whenever & whereever I can. I have learned a lot, but 
sometimes I can still be a bit too expectant & `helpful' -- i.e., my 
helpfulness is really a hinderance. 

   Anne pointed out an interesting connection for me.  Every Man & Every 
Woman is a Star.  The Star Trump is related to the Hebrew letter He, which 
means window.  Thus every Man & Woman are Windows for that which lies 
beyond. 


   Lucifer was strong within me again during the Trip.  The first-Born Son 
of God as Lightbearer.  He who is off on his own in order to solve the 
problems inherant in the First creation.  He who seeks to change the laws 
of nature.  Sometime I must sit down & write-up Lucifer's autobiography.  
So many people see Lucifer as being against God, while he is really the 
head of God's Research & Development team with Carte Blanche (from old 
Long of Nose himself) to experiment with the Universe as a whole in order 
to seek ways of improving it.  In a lot of ways, Lucifer is an `art 
critic' much like Johnathan Hoag (in the story by Robert Heinlein). 

   I need to get back to the concentrative & distillation phases of 
alchemy.  Mushroom tea is nice, but I am unable to make it as strong as 
the alcoholic elixir.  I need to trip heavy now that I am on better terms 
with myself. 

   During the trip, I came to a better realization of why Lovecraft 
would not eat seafood. He had a `contact' (Cthuhlu) who was of aquatic 
origin.  It is next to impossible to sort out the spacial or temporal 
relationships among various inner-plane contacts.  That is to say, 
Lovecraft had no way of knowing which Planet or which Time Cthuluhu was 
`from'.  Therefore, Cthulhu may have evolved in earth's future from that 
which is now considered to be seafood. Therefore: why risk eating that 
which may be a neccessary evolutionary link for your contact.  The reverse 
is also standard practice -- i.e., the Great spider which I sometime 
commune with does not now eat monkeys, even though they used to be a 
staple of her diet before we made contact with one another. 




                                   * * * 



  Thus ends Volume II of ChRySTAL Visions thru the Astral Mirror.  While 
these tales can be entertaining & instructive even to those with no 
serious interest in magick, I have been asked to provide a few `clues' for 
those who would like to pursue these adventures on a more serious level. 

   PVN's system of Magick is a rather unique synthesis of Thelema, Science 
Fantasy & `homegrown' American Shamanism, which can best be understood 
by those who are well versed in the writings of Aleister Crowley, Kenneth 
Grant, Austin O. Spare and Howard P. Lovecraft. 

   Crowley's writings are a maze of inter-connected essays, books, 
poetry, and plays which span over 50 very prolific years.  Even a partial 
bibliogrpahy of the man's work would fill this entire pamphlet.  PVN 
advises those new to Magick to read whatever comes to hand, while keeping 
good notes & re-reading to synthesize as new material becomes availabale.  
In some ways, reading Crolwy is like learning a new language & culture 
without benefit of any comprehensive books on grammar or syntax.  The Tree 
of Life provides the basic dictionary.  Beyond that, the student is on 
his own. 


   Kenneth Grant takes an entirely different approach.  His books are 
meticulous, well thought out, and progress in logical sequence from his 
earliest (Magical Revival) to his latest (Outside the Circles of Time). 

   To those who would like to gain some insights into the historical 
development of Frater PVN's personal sytem of magick, I would reccommend a 
careful purusal of his older magickal records, many of which will soon be 
on file at the Black Moon Magickal Archives.