OOPS...Common Problems in the Craft, and avoiding them! Return To The Index, click here! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Family Problems or Coven and Group Dynamics: The traditional 13 member coven may need to be updated. Common problems in many circles are infighting, gossip, back stabbing and the like, or in the most extreme, Magickal Wars. To lessen, or even prevent these situations, incorporate the latest research on group dynamics. It has been proven that groups of 7 to 11 people will work together more closely, with fewer sub-groups forming. Sub- groups can cause broken links in communication, as well as jealousy among members who are not in those "cliques". The study of group dynamics can be essential to a balanced and working coven. If you are considering joining one, or if you are already a part of one, try the following links. They are psychological essays on group dynamic and other sites of interest: * Le Bon, Gustave. The Crowd: A Study of the Popular Mind Electronic Text Center, University of Virginia Library * Nonlinear Dynamics, Psychology, and Life Sciences The official quarterly journal of the Society for Chaos Theory in Psychology and the Life Sciences Published by Human Sciences Press * Group Dynamics...Psychology 633 Also if you are in a coven, discussion group, class, etc. or are considering joining one, be sure to check out The Advanced Bonewits' Cult Danger Evaluation Frame 2.0 Problems can also appear when two coven members begin working closely with each other (see below). The problems associated with this situation can be lessened with "feedback discussion groups." Schedule regular sessions with all coven members so they can report their latest workings (not necessarily private individual workings, usually only partnership workings). It is necessary to know where the coven's energy is going, and these sessions should help. The sessions will also help the partners improve their workings, and give other members new ideas. A good side effect is that any partner who is getting out of line with their ego or control issues will be kept in check by having to share what they've been up to. Try to promote a feeling of oneness with all coven members at these sessions. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Partnership dynamics: Help, I'm falling in love with my magickal partner.........how did this happen and what do I do? The pitfalls and warning signs of a negative working couple. Why does this happen so often??!! Before you commit to working with someone: When you decide to work closely with a person in magick or any other aspect of the Craft, consider all the ramifications: You will be creating a bond between yourselves that is not easily broken. This connection may encompass many levels; spiritual, psychological, and magickal. Make sure that this person is worthy of being so closely tied to you. Each person brings with them to the union, their entire personalities; egos, insecurities, talents, ideas, etc. When exposed to magickal or spiritual teachings, people began to change. Any negative aspect of a being will be amplified in order to better be analyzed and changed. (This could account for the difficult time we often have when we are initiates in the Craft...positive traits are amplified too!) So, if you working with someone who has control issues for example, verify to yourself that you can hold your own if this person attempts to control you or have "power over" you. Before working with someone, ask yourself some questions: * What does this person really want? * What do I want from this person? * Does this person know her/himself well enough to teach without ego-tripping? * Is this person's life in a constant state of chaos? If so, is that chaos self perpetuated? * Will this person be your teacher, mentor, or high priest/ess? If so, do they expect you to be a servile subject, or an equal participant? * Does this person carry many titles? If so, what are they, how did they get them, what do they mean, and are they thrown in everyone's face for self-glorification purposes? Ok, it's too late for all of that, I'm already working with someone: If you find your working partner or coven member appearing in your sexual fantasies, question your relationship. This is an early, and clear warning sign that something is not as it seems. There are many possibilities for this occurrence, try to narrow it down. Is this person sending you sexually charged energy intentionally? Are you willingly placing this person in your fantasies - without putting up a barrier so the energy is not sent out to them? Have you had many problems in relationships concerning the misinterpretation of concern and caring? (Meaning, can you be friends with someone who could qualify as a sexual partner? OR Do you reciprocate feelings of friendship and love sexually? More reasons for this later....) Is this person holding something over you...such as, placing themselves above you and telling you how quickly you can "advance" in the Craft. If so, is this done with your consent or is the person supposed to be on equal ground with you? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------