From : Sue...
 Subj : Rites of passage..

Greetings all. There has been much discussion on Rites of passage
lately so I thought I'd post a description of what my hubby and some
male friends did for our son last year on his 14th birthday...

The Boy had been shown the ritual sight earlier in the evening. Once the
sun had gone down, signaling the end of the day and the passage into
night, the men left the house. After a while the Boy prepared himself,
shower and quiet reflection of the tasks ahead. As his mother I bid him
farewell and good luck on his journey toward manhood. He left the house
and embarked on his first test (courage). This was to find his way in the
dark to the ritual sight (he had a small flashlight), on the way he was
challenged by the male participants jumping out and asking him if he was
ready, was he sure he was ready, last chance to turn back.....Once at the
ritual sight (about a mile away from the house) he faced the next test, a
test of skill at arms. Valraven had 2 wooden practise katanas. the Boy
had to score three hits on his father while avoiding returning blows.
The third test was one of knowledge, the men asked questions about his
growth so far and what he understood of the responsibilities of manhood.
Having answered these to the satisfaction of the men present, he was
congratulated and welcomed as a man. Wine was shared among all and the men
present talked to the new man about *manly* things ...(I don't know all
that was talked about as they won't tell me). After a suitable time of
celebration they returned to the house and I welcomed my son who was now
a man (he was nice enough to save some wine to have a drink with his mom).

After this ritual, we gave him much more freedom to decide his own paths.
He comes and goes fairly freely (we live on base so the safety factor is
good), I don't question him about his homework, if it isn't done he faces
the consequences (and boy does he hear about it if he gets detention).
We had a few hiccups which were soon ironed out and things are going well
almost a year after the ritual......He has responsibility (which he enjoys),
freedom (which is also a responsibility) and the knowledge that we trust
him but are always here should he need advice.