THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD

It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and 
did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.*

This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold** and 
inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete 
She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake 
of a hot dog.

Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each 
immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription.  And they 
started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and 
everything.

Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be 
selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a 
shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of 
gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to 
outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.

Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and 
Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy 
young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she got the 
apple and he got screwed.

As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris could 
have Helen (The Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. 
Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded 
their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among 
men.

And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake 
of No Hot Dog Buns.   Do you believe that?

* This is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB
** There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was of metalic 
gold or acapulco.
*** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law of 
Fives.

REMEMBER:
KING
KONG
DIED FOR
YOUR SINS

Ho Chi Zen
is
King Cong

5. An Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is one in which History As We Know 
It begins to unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges in Corporal Form, 
more or less, and such times are Ages of Balanced Unbalance, or Unbalanced 
Balance.

6. An Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in which Things Mature, in which 
Confusion becomes entrenched and during which Balanced Balance, or 
Stagnation, is attained.

7. An Age of Disorder or an Aftermath is an Apocalyptic Period of Transition back 
to Chaos through the Screen of Oblivion into which the Age passeth, finally. 
These are Ages of Unbalanced Unbalance.

                HBT; The Book of Uterus, Chap. 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do You Remember?

1.	Polite children will always remember that a church is the ______ of _____.