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     „The Boston Herald, Monday, October 31,1994; page 25.„
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        **"Witches should hit the Brooms"**
   **Story by Don Feder, transcribed by Cphobes**

     "But are you a good witch or a bad witch?"  Glinda asks Dorothy
upon the latter's arrival in the Land of Oz.  Laurie Cabot, official
witch of Salem, (by the grace of his flakiness, former Gov. Michael
Dukakis) is neither.  She is merely a very silly witch, hawking her
pantheistic placebos.
     It's that witching hour again.  Once, all we had to worry about on
Halloween were kids soaping our windows and trimming our trees with
toilet paper.
     Now there's a gaggle of New Age nincompoops running around calling
themselves witches (or neo-pagans or followers of Wicca), kvetching
about society not understanding them and how warty-nosed hag masks are
religious defamation.
     Enter Cabot - "an ordained High Priestess of Witchcraft" - with her
new book "Celebrate The Earth: A Year's Holidays In the Pagan
Tradition."  I half expected a forward by Al Gore.
     I decided the chapter on "Samhain" (which coincides with the
Hershey/Mattel holiday upon us) would be an appropriate point of
departure.  Cabot explains that Samhain has nothing to do with evil, but
is a Celtic holiday "infused with positive energy and filled with hope
for our planet's future."
     "On Samhain, Witches (always capitalized)... cast spells to
psychically contact our deceased forebears and retrieve ancient
knowledge," Cabot writes.
     Reminds me of the "Rocky and Bullwinkle Show."  Rocky, gazing
intently into his crystal ball:  "Eany-meany, chili-beany, the spirits
are about to speak!"  Bullwinkle: "Are they friendly spirits, Rock?"
     The volume is a witch's brew of pagan rituals, spells, potions,
"magical stones" and cauldron cuisine.  No powdered toad here, but
Laurie does lament the difficulty of finding wild boar at local Stop N'
Shop.
     Welcome to the era of total tolerance, where any belief system is
deemed as good as any other, where to question someone's "spirituality"
(however zany or far removed from genuine religion) is considered
impolite if not downright bigoted.
     In this climate, the mst outrageous claptrap flourishes.  The Rev.
Shane Buras, of the Los Angeles coven, United We Circle, informs us that
Wicca is the nation's fastest growing faith.
     Moreover, Burras points out, it has the U.S. government's seal of
approval - via tax-exempt status.  Given that a federal judge in Denver
just ruled a Satanist doing time for kidnapping could conduct rituals in
his cell, under the protection of the First Amendment, Washington's
sanction is of dubious value.
     As the title of her book implies, Laurie is an Earth-hugger.  The
bond with "our Mother, the Earth" is "all-encompassing, always
renewable, life-sustaining, meeting all our needs and answering all our
questions," Cabot proclaims.
     Does Earth worship really meet all our needs?  Answer all our
questions?  It's a cheap and beguilingly easy form of ersatz piety.
Nature is magnificent.  It's all around us, constantly tugging at our
consciousness.  God is invisible, perceived not with the senses but the
heart and mind.
     The Jewish prophets were particularly vigilant against this heresy.
The Hebrew Bible has no word for nature.  That would imply that all of
the elements encompassed by the designation can somehow be welded
together into an entity existing independent of the Creator.
     My take on modern witchcraft is different than that of some
Christians.  I don't think Cabot and company are casting evil spells or
raising demons - though Laurie does have a wicked money potion (that can
be dabbed on bank deposit slips and job applications), as befits a witch
who drives a mercedes.
     I have a more prosaic concern.  Real religion fosters moral
behavior.  You don't get goodness from Earth worship.  Nature's ethical
lesson is sovereignty of the strong and utter indifference to suffering.
     You don't get morality by standing in a mystical circle, taking
warm, candle lit saltwater baths (recommended by Cabot), handling magical
stones or playing Merlin.
     All this does is allow the devotee to feel spiritual without
absorbing the moral lessons of traditional religion or practicing
sacrifice and self-restraint.
     Witchcraft is a prefect faith for a generation with flaccid
metaphysical muscles - no Bible, no hierarchy, no Decalogue, no source
of moral guidance, other than one nebulous admonition: "Do as you will,
but harm none."  Space does not suffice to consider where this folly
leads.  Quagmire city.
     Laurie, take the first broom out of town and take your mumbo-jumbo
theology with you.  Be off, before someone drops a house on you.

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„Disclaimer:  Any mistyping's and/or typo's are unintentional, the    „
„transcriber is not responsible for misinterpretations based on such  „
„errors.  This article was transcribed for the public viewing of all. „
„Please distribute.  The transcriber is not responsible for anything  „
„linked to the writing of this article.      <11/02/94>          „
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