STILL HERE                                                STILL.TXT
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       After 25 years of spiritual practices, meditation, self-hypnosis,
       chanting, prayer, dream research, breathe control, study and use of
       the I Ching, study of many spiritual texts, siddha yoga, mantra yoga,
       karma yoga, juana yoga, dream yoga, being a vegetarian, having powerful
       spiritaul experiences, having some "spiritual powers" manifest in me,
       being able to impart divine healing energy to others sometimes, 
       receiving direct visions from the Divine, sometimes being able to forsee
       future events, being in the direct presence of several real Enlightened
       Beings, and being iniatited by one of them as a disciple, which 
       blew me into "ALIVE-NESS" [Divine Consciousness] for a short time....
       And teaching spiritually to those who came directly to me and asked to
       learn,

       And yet, I am still HERE, STILL SLEEPING.... 

       All the above has not been in vain:

       I have assisted others in their personal growth and in healing.
       I am a much "better" person than I was when my "spiritual trip" started.
       I have less selfishness and self-centerednes.
       I have more inner peace, and more compassion for others.
       I can love without conditions a little more.

       Most days, I awake each day happy to have another day to experience and
       learn things.

       I have learned some of the Divine Laws that function here and how to
       live in better harmony with those laws.

       All my efforts at self-development and experiences have moved me toward
       a deep understanding of many things, understanding that some things will
       always remain mysteries until I blossom fully,
       understanding where what are called truth and reality are actually to be
       "lived", 
       understanding a lot about who I actually am and am not......

       And yet, I am still HERE, STILL SLEEPING.... 

        What does all that mean ? 
        To me, it means most of my understandings are ntellectual....
        I am not living "ALIVE" 24 hours a day....
        I am still "Sleeping", and understand I am sleeping,
        and nothing I have learned, done or experienced has FULLY AWAKENED me, 
        caused the "JUMP" that appears to be what manifests permanent
        "ALIVE-NESS".

        In reviewing the events of my life, I have come to believe that the
        brief Enlightenment that occurred at my iniatition had 2 causes.
        The Divine Energy that flowed directly into me from my Guru and
        a brief TOTAL internal SURRENDER to the Divine.

        I do not know how to surrender. Nor can I not teach anyone to 
        surrender.

        Total Surrender appears to be the most difficult thing that a human
        being can do. And actutally it maybe that one does not "do it", 
        it just happens and happens for reasons unknown to me...

        I have discovered that I am not the doer.

        Believing you are the doer is an ignorance.
        Only the Divine is the doer.

        I have discovered;

        That there is no separateness.

        Believing there is separateness is an ignorance.
        The separateness we experience here is an illusion. 
        All living things on the planet are interconnected, ONE.

        That this is not reality.
        Believing this is reality is an ignorance.
        The only reality that exists is that which was never created 
        and never changes, The Divine.

        That that Reincarnation and Karma are facts not theories.

        I have discovered that there are few accidents in our lives, and
        most events in a person's life do not come from choises or decisions
        they have made in their lives, but from their past lives and events
        that have happened in the past in this life.

        And that at least most of the free will we appear to have here is
        actually an illusion.

        --ganashyam das